Wednesday, December 24, 2008

Monday, December 22, 2008

Dear Marketing Genius, ...

I went to the Motorcycle Show this weekend. It's an annual pilgrimage for me this time of year...sort of the adult equivalent of Ralphie's quest for the Red Ryder BB Gun in A Christmas Story.I, like Ralphie, must have the object of my desire in order to make my life complete. But unlike our hero, I, alas, never find my motorcycle carefully hidden behind a piece of furniture on Christmas morning.

What DO I get? I have to deal with the ever-changing whims of the guys who make up the various Marketing groups who name the motorcycles every year. Normally, I'm not a fan of names per se, I prefer an alpha-numeric designation. Unfortunately, names can be evocative and thus, more powerful. Who can forget the Vincent 'Black Shadow', the Norton 'Commando' or the Kawasaki 'Ninja'? The problem is, every Marketing hack thinks his idea will be the next 'Ninja' or 'Super Duke, but we wind up with something like the Aprilia 'Shiver'.Shiver? Are you kidding me? Shiver...really...What is that supposed to evoke? Fear? Draftiness? I mean, Aprilia shares the same cachet as its fraternal company Ducati, which has the awesome 'Monster' in its lineup. The Shiver is an excellent bike, but what self-respecting biker could hang around Zeitgeist talking about his SHIVER?? The 'Shiv' maybe....

Suzuki also gets a thumbs down on their new model that essentially replaces the SV650. As soon as I laid eyes on this it, I was on it faster than an auto exec on a Gulfstream 250! I reached over the bar and grabbed the tag and nearly fell off: The Gladius.What in the name of...GLADIUS? Jesus, it's like the lead in to a raunchy joke. How did they come up with that name. What does it mean?? Its like a Latin test.."Damn, how do you conjugate the verb gladius?" Or was Gladius a famous emperor? It's too bad, because it's a great bike, a possible Monster-killer even, but with a name lime Gladius...Good luck.

That being said, if any of you high-level Suzuki corporate types are reading this and want to prove me wrong, just drop an email and I'll send you a delivery address.

Saturday, December 13, 2008

I Love The Internet By Cracky!

You know, you really have to wonder how we got along before the Interwebs came along. I caught myself the other day telling my daughters how, when I was their age, we didn't have the Internet. God, I sounded like my Mom when she'd talk about growing up before they had televisions in every house.

Beside the obvious advantages of the Internet, like online shopping, music downloads, and as Paracelsus points out, learning to play the paino, there are people out there who will share the most specific information. Let's go back about two weeks, when I was driving and inserted my favoriteMary Gauthier CD in the ol' Camry's CD player. Nothing. I pushed Play, FFWD, you name it. In despair, I hit the Eject button. No disc magically slid out. I was depressed and not a little mad that yet another vintage Japanese car had eaten a favorite musician's work(I had an old Infiniti G20 whose tape player gobbled up a Who tape, but at least let me play it).
I finally had some time on my hands today and went online to see if some other hapless soul had experienced the same thing. What I found was a godsend...Removing the radio from your Camry. Hurray! Not only did I get the radio out, I found my CD and 2 others!(The car used to be my sister's). The weird thing, none o fthe CD's were in the player, but resting on top. Oh well, one day I'll have a car with an iPod jack and never have another problem!

Monday, December 08, 2008

Trabivergnuegen

Paracelsus sent me this amusing, yet amazingly real, link for the Trabi Safari.
Now on the face of it, I thought, "Hell no!!!" You see, years ago when I was in Germany, we visited then-East Germany with some friends. We actually rode in a Trabant Taxi, and let me tell you, I think I would change that old saying about foxholes and Atheists, because there were a lot of prayers being whispered in that car. Most were coming from the driver! The supposed Godless Eastern Bloc...Yeah, well, when your Taxi has a huge fire extinguisher strapped to the floor, it stalls at every red light and there are more holes in the floorboards than O.J.'s alibi, you know you're in for the ride of your life.

I'm sure at ~$50 for a 2 person joyride, these Trabis are in top condition. I'm pretty sure there are mountains of spare parts all over Germany. Still, I think half the fun of this Safari is the inherent danger of driving what an Americanm car is slowly becoming!(Just kidding Big Three junket boys...Keep begging for money!).
But seriously, remember This Guy I wrote about before? See, that's the "Safari" part of this trip: The whole panic-inducing, omnipresent anxiety of "Will this break down and leave me stranded?" Man, what have we bceome as a species that we have to pay for what was, for our ancient forerunners, every day life? I mean without the stinky smoke -belching 2 stroke motor and fine German beer of course.

Anyway, I say kudos to you, you crafty, enterprising Germans. Why, think of the possibilities of this kind of thing here, with a Pontiac Aztek!.
Doesnt work so much here, but I wonder if these same Germans are thinking of a full blown East German Land amusment park(?)...

Imagine, travelling back in time to the Cold War era. Your stay will be at a luxurious 1 star, Warsaw Pact Hotel, with cold running water, straw filled matresses and a continental breakfast consisting of gray, unidentifiable meat, stale toast and lukewarm, greasy coffee. Hop in your Trabi for a trip across town. Be sure to purchase fuel from a man under the overpass for the best deal. You are then free to wander the shopping districts of East Berlin, marvel at the complete lack of consumer products available to you. Wonder at the loathsome treatment you receive from the shop owners, public works employees and just about anyone else you meet on the street who notice your nice clothes and holeless shoes.
Up for some adventure? Try the "Berliner Mauer" obstacle course(NOTE: Those in 'B' class hotels, this is listed as "In-House Gym". 'A' Class hotel residents are not eligible). Try to make your way through concertina wire, mock mine fileds and crack border guards. Make it to Checkpoint Charlie unscathed and recive 10% off your visit!

Yeah, very funny. Check out Das Leben der Anderen for a stark portayal of the time.

Thursday, November 20, 2008

Change You Can't believe...in

Things look a little weird around here. I gave up and chose the "new" template from Blogger. And by "new", they mean kiss all your old links goodbye. Gah!
Well, it's off to the Wayback Machine to see if I can recover them.

UPDATE:I was able to get my links back from a saved source of my old template...I had to use the Blogger.com half-assed "tool" to do so...I still can't get my Feedjit tool back on the page and sent a nasty note to blogger about their idiotic new tamplates....May be time to find a new host.

Oh, and PS, the "Tom Waits Library" site is hosed...trying to find out what's up.

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Why GM is Failing



Oh, and it really doesn't help when you fly to D.C. in your Private Jet to beg for money...

The Oi-Phone

Apparently, in the future, we'll all have to speak like some 1950's family sit-com character in order to get our robotic appliances to understand. They never mention this kind of problem in Science Fiction!

Seems a new Google App for the iPhone gets confused by various accents in the UK...and does what Google does best and defaults to 'sex' as a return for almost any query.

"British iPhone owners had less luck when speaking the word "iPhone" into the application -- a Scottish user was offered a porn website after it mistook his search for "sex," the Telegraph reported."

"A Welsh accent gave the suggestions 'gorillas' and 'kitchen sink.'"

It's evidently OK with Yorkshire and Irish accents...go figure. Especially since Yorkshiremen seem to have it rough already!

They don't mention Australia, but I imagine queries for "iPhone" would result in "beer", "beer", "vegemite" and "wombat".

Of course, you can see where this would be a problem in Sci Fi classics...

Dave Bowman: "Open the pod bay doors,HAL"
HAL: "I'm afraid I can't grope the body course, Dave"
Dave: "Wha'? Grope...? What the hell is wrong with you, HAL?"
HAL: "I think you know what a hen weighs Dave."

Monday, November 17, 2008

Proposition H8

I live in California, more specifically, the Bay Area. I consider myself pretty Liberal in my political views, which is why, when Barack Obama was elected to be our next President, I was happier than a Hippie at a Dead show.
What I wasn't happy about was the outcome of Proposition 8. I'm not gay, but I am married, so I figure, hey, I can't put my 2 cents in here. Since November 4th, a lot of people have been putting their 2 cents in, and thye're really not too happy to have to do it.

I just found a very intersting tool that will show you who donated how much to either side of that proposition. The Interwebs make for a very strange world...I mean, you think you can just go out and donate to a particular campaign or proposition and the next thing you know, someone builds a searchable database.
This has trouble written all over it. And by trouble, I mean boycotts. Well, mostly boycotts.
Go Nuts

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

A Mug's Game

"Oh God it's another day..."
When you think of the band Soft Cell, the song "Tainted Love" probably comes to mind. Fair enough, but a little known track(a B side if I'm not mistaken) that totally kicks ass is A Mug's Game(no video, just audio). Be warned that it's not something you want to crank up at work, but you have to listen to it loud to enjoy the lyrics.
Amazingly, I can remember this getting airplay(maybe once) waaay back in the Eighties. I haven't heard it since and have had no luck finding an MP3(didn't look that hard).
Despite it's Britishisms(Waiting to buy "do-do's" at the "Chemists"), it hits a lot of the angst-ridden notes of youngsters everywhere. Indeed, at a young age, Life can be a Mug's Game.

Thursday, November 06, 2008

Horsing Around

OK, I am going out on a limb here and saying this is going viral.

It has everything: Drunken hilarity, more drunken hilarity and unfortunately some property damage. But I think the drunken hilarity trumps the inert horsey.

Hi Yo Silver, Away!!!

And here's the News Story about the whole sordid affair.

If I were these guys' attorney, I'd be working on an "Overcome-by-the-emotion-of-an-Obama-victory" defense.

Wednesday, November 05, 2008

Double Yay!!

Found this via BoingBoing...Some really great images...
I wonder if the Right Wing talking heads would consider this a "Terrorist Fist Bump"? Man, looking back, you just gotta wonder, how could there have been so many paid, moronic Republican shills? I guess they'll be gearing up for the next four years, ready to pounce on anything Barack Obama does in office...

I especially like this one...I just love how his kids are so into him. They seem like such a great family. Take that Traditional Values Coalition!!

Tuesday, November 04, 2008

Thursday, October 23, 2008

Meet Me In The Middle

A former co-worker of mine is a total Evite queen and is always planning Happy Hour get togethers with current and former employees. Problem is, I don't work in Silicon Valley anymore and another former co-worker and I are always getting pissed off that the gatherings are invariably in Mountain View or Sunnyvale. Neither of us are thrilled at the prospect of driving about an hour to the gig. What's a guy to do? Well, fortunately, there's MeetWays, which will provide you a halfway point to use as a meeting place! Awesome, so let's see...I enter their work address and mine...*searching*...and there ya go...we'll meet in the middle of the Bay, just west of San leandro.
Hmm, OK, maybe I should add a "Halfway Location", like "Pub" or "Beer". Ah, there...wait, Embassy Suites in Burlingame?

Despite this particular case, I really like this tool, at the very least, becasue it will finally end those squabbles over who drove farther to meet someone.
So have fun.

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

O'Bama

OK, looks like we've wrapped up the Catholic vote. Yeah, no, I mean...didn't you know Barack was Irish? Don't give me that look...You haven't heard of Hardy Drew and the Nancy Boys?

The link above includes their lyrics and here's their Video. Pretty dang funny...

But, it gets better. Shay Black got permission to add a few lines, and there are some great ones in there.
"Fenian to Kenyan it's the American Way..."
or
"With Cheney and Bush, they are ALL IGNORAMA...
There's no one as Irish as Barack O'Bama"

And I believe this is performed at the Starry Plough in Berkeley.

So check it out and enjoy.

Tuesday, October 07, 2008

Election Shenanigans

Like everybody else, I thought I was the only one to notice that elections are bercoming slimier and nastier as the years go by. Apparently, this is only partially accurate. Seems elections have always been raging cesspools of idiocy. It's nice to know our Founding Fathers weren't above calling their opponent's wife a whore. Gee, in light of that, we've come a long way.

On the other hand, I don't remember a VP canidiate who was a Secessionist!. Boy, Sarah, Jefferson Davis would be proud, you betcha!

Sunday, September 28, 2008

For Sale...Cheap!

We had a garage sale a week ago. No, I don't own stock in Lehman Brothers...

I hate them, I mean, hosting them. I do like to go to garage sales and see what I can find, you know, that whole "I-might-find-something-I-can-bring-to-Antiques Roadshow-and-make-a-bundle-of-money" thing. But having one? Feh! Look, I only like the part where people pay me to take away my junk. And despite the state of the economy,people are not all that desperate to take everything.

I mentioned it to my friend who hates garage sales worse than I do.He will never have one and will regale you for minutes, minutes I tell you, on how lame they are. It got me to thinking about them and I remembered our Irish friend who was mortified when she saw one. She was embarrassed for the people and could not believe someone would haul out their personal belongings and throw them on a blanket in their driveway...I figured showing her a Flea Market would just about kill her.

Then I remembered that scene in "Borat"..I'm pretty sure Sacha Cohen thinks Garage Sales are freakish too.


But the most bizarre take on Garage Sales is that they are GREEN. Yes, you read that right: Garage Sales are part of the whole re-use and recycle part of a Green lifestyle. So much so, that our town and a neighbouring town are working together to sponsor a dual citywide Garage Sale.
OK, I can see that...I admit, I was able to avoid a run to the dump after our sale. What didn't sell, wound up on the curb or I took to the Goodwill. But it just seems funny that the humble Garage Sale, the event you use to rid yourself of the consumerist detritus that has accumulated n your life, is now a radical, environmental statement.

Maybe those schmucks at Lehman Brothers should have one...you know, save us all $700 billion.

Monday, September 22, 2008

Aux Barricades!

Like many of you reeling from the financial news of the last few days, I too am surprised at the dearth of pitchfork and torch-wielding citizenry at the gates of the Investment banks and even the White House itself. Having barely endured Economics in college, I do not propose to explain what the hell is going on, however I did find an article that seems to summarize it pretty well.

The weird thing is, the names McCain and Gramm seem to show up a lot in it.

Friday, September 05, 2008

"Auntie" Up

So I had a pretty "traditional" Labor Day", what with the barbecue and the sitting outside in the sun with friends and family. There was, however, a slighlty less-than-traditional element involved this time, and it consisted of a card game. But let me back up a little first.

Back in the mid-nineties, I attended my friend Jean's wedding. He had a lot of family visiting, one of whom was his Aunt. At the time, she was about75 years old, but she was no wet blanket. Au contraire, she was going to teach us how to play Mus! Mus is a Basque card game that requires quite a bit of concentration, so being three or four sheets to the wind that my friend Alan and I were at the time did not help at all. Oh, and you have to communicate in Basque...you know, that whacky language that doesn't seem to have any distinct origin.
Anyway, Jean's aunt was busy trying to explain the game to us, but between her limited English and our limited brain capacity, it began to feel a lot like a game of Fizzbin!

So fast-forward to last weekend..we were at it again, however this time, I wasn't drinking and we had the Internet(Huray Internet!). We googled "mus" and fuond the rules. If you can call them rules. Talk about screwy...Here's a breakdown(and yes, I will provide a link later to the source):

  • The person drawing the lowest card deals.
  • Deal goes counterclockwise
  • 8's,9's and 10's are pulled from the deck, King is the highest card, Ace is the lowest.
  • Then there is the play, where you actually have four ways to play and bet and a fifth "if necessary". I kid you not.

    Since we had a print out of the rules and the words you have to use to keep the game going, it was a lot easier to play and sometimes even win. Also, we did not look like a couple of rubes who just fell off the last sheep wagon rolling into town.
    Alan and I got pretty good at bandying about the Basque words and phrases, although we did start to modify them into "Basqulish" which just confused the other people at the table who could actually speak the language.

    All in all, it is an awesome game. "Cheating" is encouraged! Yes, you're expected to make little facial ticks to your partner, but be careful you don't get caught, otherwise the opposing team will be on to you.

    Hopefully we'll get another chance to play and if you want in, then go to this site for more information.
    Here's a site that will allow you to hear how the words are pronounced. I got pretty good at "Jokua ez".
  • Tuesday, September 02, 2008

    Let Them Eat Cake

    Can't stop laughing long enough to eat my cake...
    Check out some of these Cake Disasters

    I really like the Punctuation problems here and here

    Wednesday, August 27, 2008

    Watch Your Step

    Found this on a list of "These are NOT Photoshopped Pictures. It's the world's largest diamond mine and is located in Mirny, Russia.

    Where to begin...? So many joke possibilities: "Hey, looks like the asshole of the world isn't Newark, New Jersey!"Just look at that thing! Imagine walking home from the bar one night,you take a wrong turn and...Let's hope they have a nice big fence around it.

    Check out the truck they use to haul out dirt, then check the picture where the truck is in the mine. I think there must be a Howard Johnson's about half way down, you know, for pit stops and whatnot.

    Sure it's just a big hole, but as far as man-made oddities, I think it ranks high, especially since it's so close to a city. Sure, it might look a little weird out in the middle of nowhere, but check out the planes at the end of the airstrip...Oh, and note in the article that the airspace above is off limits to helicopters. *shudder*

    This
    is a Google Map satellite view. I put this last, because I think the pictures where you can't see the bottom are a lot more eerie. Yeah, Hades called, he says "Close the damn door, were you born in a barn?"

    Planet Saved from Destruction. Huzzah!

    Remeber my post about the asteroid a while back? You know, it's on a collison course with Earth, we're all doomed, check my countdown timer from time to time? Yeah, that one.
    Well, you can all breathe a huge sigh of relief, because a really bright Sheila has come up with a way to deflect that nasty rock so we can go on with our lives, however meaningless and hollow they may be.
    Her plan is to wrap the thing in Mylar making it a bright, shiny object whose reflective qualities will cause it to be "pushed" away from the sun. Yeah, sounds like a load of shite to me too, but just in case, please send all of your old bithday and party baloons to the University of Queensland's School of Engineering, care of the Sheila who has a few kangaroos loose in the top paddock.

    Monday, August 25, 2008

    USA! USA! USA!

    Wow everybody, the U.S. Men's Basketball team took the Gold! Imagine, a professional basketball team played...together....as a team...and won the Gold Medal. I, for one, am shocked.
    Thank god the Olympics are over so we don't have to be subjected to anymore blathering about how truly amazing it is that these guys went on to beat all comers.


    Monday, August 18, 2008

    Revelation

    Signs that the end is near:



    1. Camel makes menthol cigarettes. It's the one on the right

    2. Motorcycles come with a reverse gear. Scroll to "Drivetrain". I even linked it to the model that has an airbag!

    3. BMX Racing in the Olympics.So, is the age cut off like 12?

    Ugh, looks like we're hosed...

    Thursday, August 07, 2008

    What a Gas

    Here's a sign that the oil crisis is real: On a recent family vacation, my brother-in-law's boat, which can never run for more than about 20 minutes, crapped out again in the middle of the lake. After getting towed to shore, he asked if I wanted some of the gas he just filled up the #$%*! boat with. Really, how bad is that? I declined, but not after seriously considering the offer.

    Remember way back when, back in 2006 when I was ranting that we should have the Smart Car here in the U.S.?(Yeah, I know, I way ahead of the curve, thank you very much).Well, I've been inspired again to rave about cool little cars. Now THESE cars are cool and High Mileage! This is exactly what we need now, while gas prices are still high. Believe me, as soon as gas falls back to the ultra low price of $3.00 per gallon, people will be right back at the car dealerships putting a down payment on an SUV.

    It's not enough to get these cars in America. We need a paradigm shift(sorry, but I couldn't think of another term). We need to get those Madison Avenue marketing geniuses to get to work convincing us how awesomely cool it is to drive cars that feel like little race cars and still get killer MPG. I'm already convinced...so, hand over one of those Alfa Romeo MiTo's already!

    Tuesday, July 08, 2008

    Super Basque

    My friend Jean died last month. It took me a while to get around to writing about it and it's still a bit unreal even after all this time.

    I met Jean when I was a student at UCSB. The only reason I did was because my roommate at the time, Alan, was a Graduate Student in Physics and they all tended to hang out together. I hung out with them because they were older and wiser...and could easily buy beer.(NOTE: Alan and Jean were witness to the famed Naked Felix. Chris Felix also tragically died at a young age).
    Jean was a French Basque who had his own apartment in Isla Vista, the chic slum-like beach side community for students at UCSB. Since he was the only one with his own place, we all naturally gravitated to it in the evenings, sometimes to his consternation. You see, Jean liked his privacy and we were all usually too clueless or loaded to get the subtle clues that we really needed to get the hell out...for god's sake it was two AM! But Jean was not mean or rude...he has been described by some as bitter or angst-ridden, but I never knew him to say a bad thing about another person. The fact that he put up with me, an Undergrad majoring in Poli-Sci, and never talked down to me and even accepted me in the confederacy of physics geeks that hung out at his studio apartment, proved what a big hearted guy he was.

    Not only was Jean a mensch, he could COOK! Of course, he never let us in on this secret talent until after he had moved away. He once cooked a rack of lamb at a New Year's party we had and it was phenomenal. Up until that time I thought he was a pretty awesome nacho chef....

    Oh, and he was smart as hell...really. I knew he was a smart guy, but I didn't know how smart. See, Jean could talk to you an just about any subject, intelligently, and was never arrogant about it. Since he knew I was in the dark about High Energy Physics, he stuck to discussing things that I would bring up. Check this out. If your brain doesn't explode after 5 seconds like mine did, well you're a better man than I.

    Jean was also instrumental in getting my wife and I married. He was working at CERN at the time and we decided to get married in Geneva. He took care of all the details and planning from his end, despite being neck deep in research...I don't think I ever thanked him enough for all the work he did for us. To think, I might have been married in the county courthouse in Oakland had it not been for Jean!

    Finally, don't just take my word for it. Google Jean Duboscq and see for yourself. Or have a look at this blog entry from an old friend of his. Jean really left an impression on everyone he met. Here are others whose lives he touched.

    Jean, I will really miss you. Rest easy.

    Monday, July 07, 2008

    Whew!

    OK, I was on vacation for a week. A whole week...god, when's the last time I did that? Anyway, I have a lot to blather on about, but will wait a bit until I've recovered.

    Wednesday, June 18, 2008

    More Flag Stuff

    Found this via the Games For The Brain site. What a great way to test if you really checked out the Flagged Post I did!

    Wednesday, June 11, 2008

    Danger Will Robinson!

    My daughter asked me to replace the battery on her Tamagotchi and as I was disassembling it, I noticed a little warning next to the battery compartment that said:
    "CAUTION: Battery harmful if swallowed".
    Really? I mean, you don't say....Have we come to the point in our overly litigious,Nanny State that we have to warn people that it's probably not a good idea to let your kids eat batteries?
    This is the part where I go on my old man rant about how when WE were kids, we didn't have bicycle helmets, baby gates, or even poison labels! Hell, if little Jimmy keeled over after drinking that stuff on a dare, well, you'd just remember not to drink that stuff!Dagnabit, when I was a kid, we had it tough!

    Anyway, there are enough other people out there who feel the same way that they've collected a few of these gems.
    One of my favorites:
    "Caution: Remove infant before folding for storage." -- On a portable stroller.
    *sigh*
    See to believe:
    Shouldn't it be obvious?
    Don't put crap into your mouth
    Remove the sun shade before driving your car...

    Sunday, June 08, 2008

    Flagged!

    So, as you all probably know already, June 14 is Flag Day in the United States. (What?You didn't know?) While none of us but one lucky state gets the day off as a Holiday(I'm looking at you Pennsylvania...assuming it's still a state holiday...if not, well, sorry), we should still honor the day by flying our beloved Stars and Stripes. Which got me to thinking. Remember when you were a kid in school and you invariably were tasked with drawing the U.S. flag? Remember what a pain it was? all those straight lines for the stripes and the stars! Gah! Fifty stars, and who could make a decent looking star anyway? Except for that one girl up front who did everything well...dang teacher's pet!

    Anyway, I remembered thinking that those Japanese kids had it easy, what with a big white flag with a Red circle in the middle...I mean, come on, how tough is that?(Actually, probably pretty tough...you have that whole perfect circle thing, then the centering.) So I found a couple of sites with World Flags to see how bad some kids have it.

    I'm pretty sure the kids in Libya have it made. Let's see, one big green rectangle? Check. Done. What's next?

    The Kazakh kids on the other hand...I'm guessing the guys who designed it never had to actually draw a flag when they were kids. The filigree is nice, but there's no way a 3rd grader is going to nail that...and that hawk? Forget it.

    Pity the poor Nepalese kids...they have to get creative with the shape!

    Belarus....eh, that looks like old dot-matrix graphics on the left side there...

    The Brazilian kids not only have to do stars like the U.S. kids, but they have to get them right or risk creating new, unheard of constellations!

    For those little tykes on the Isle of Mann, well, I just hope they have good therapists, because that is freaky!

    I know that if I had been a kid in Mozambique, I would have been totally psyched. You get to draw an AK-47 That's a pretty bad-ass flag.

    This site has fewer flags listed than the ones linked above, but the bonus is, it has an explanation behind the colors, designs, etc. Good times.

    Wednesday, May 21, 2008

    Sticks and Stones


    I've stayed out of this whole Anonymous vs. Scientology war, but recently ran across an article that makes my blood boil.

    Seems a 15 year old protestor in London has been Arrested for holding a sign that used the word "cult" to describe the church of scientology. Apparently, the group of protestors at the May 10th event were "banned by police from describing Scientology as a cult by police because it was 'abusive and insulting'." Wait...What?

    This is not the first time the phalanx of scientologist lawyers have used the law(or misused I'd say) to prevent people from excercising basic rights.In fact, the rise of the Anonymous protest against scientology was initiated by scientology's attempts to remove links to videos that were deemed insulting to them. Here is a site with some information and tactics...note the quote at the top by the founder of scientology.
    To be sure, I am a little concerned about even noting things like this, as the scientologists are well known for the ability to harras and intimidate...but then, that's the reason I am writing this. How can people stand by when someone gets arrested for holding up a sign with the word "cult " on it?

    What are they afraid of?(WARNING: Sites listed below contain images that may be disturbing.) Sites like this or this one claim to provide evidence of more nefarious deeds by the church.

    All this has got me to thinking and has led me to delve deeper into what the protest against scientology is all about. There is a lot of information out there, so if you too are curious, there's nothing stopping you from getting at it...at least, not yet.

    The next protest is planned for June 14th.


    UPDATE: Looks like sanity prevailed

    Tuesday, May 06, 2008

    April 13, 2029

    After reading Paracelsus' grim report on How much time we have left on Earth (reminds me, I should really clean the garage), I was already a bit apprehensive about the fate of our planet. Then, I caught a bit of City Arts and Lectures with Neil deGrasse Tyson talking about Asteroid 2004 MN4 (or Apophis) which is slated to come within 18,600 miles of Earth's surface".
    Or as NASA's site puts it, "On April 13, 2029, asteroid 2004 MN4 will fly past Earth only 18,600 miles (30,000 km) above the ground. For comparison, geosynchronous satellites orbit at 22,300 miles (36,000 km)." NASA also has a cool animated model so you can see an Alpha Centaurian's-eye view of the (near) collision!

    The big test apparently is in 2035 when some(notably Dr. Tyson) think the asteroid will actually smack into Earth....So, maybe I can live with these gas prices, but I will start saving money to get a place further away from the coast.

    One more thing, I found another cool gadget on makeuseof that let's you create your own Countdown Timer.
    So here's my Doomsday Clock

    Wednesday, April 30, 2008

    Southern Belles

    I don't know, maybe it's because I'm getting old(er) or I think popular music today can't hold a candle to awesomeness that was the early Eighties....For whatever reason, I seem to be drawn to morose, Southern singer/songwriters of the female persuasion.

    It started a while back, after watching O Brother Where Art Thou?, I bought the soundtrack and fell in love with Alison Krauss' voice. Then, on a drive home from work, when I used to nearly die driving almost two hours one way, I heard "I Wanna Die" by Jolie Holland on KALX. It was so raw and haunting, I bought the CD the next day. Beautiful stuff and my favorite track turned out to be "Wandering Angus", which is a poem by W.B. Yeats that Jolie put to music.
    My new Southern girl is Mary Gauthier. Same deal...driving in the car, switched channels (KFOG this time) and heard the last minute of Between The Daylight And The Dark". I just sat in the driveway until the last note faded and was dumbstruck...Of course, I bought the CD the next day. You can listen to samples on hersite, but I'd reccomend getting her latest album. I'm listening to some of her older stuff and will probably wind up with a few of those CD's as well, but this one is stunning. If you don't cry during "Thanksgiving", there's something wrong with you.

    Oh well, don't know who I'll end up enamored with next, but if you have any suggestions, I'd love to hear them.

    Wednesday, April 23, 2008

    There will be blood

    I paid $3.99 a gallon the other day....Four bucks a gallon, to drive on pitted and pot-holed roads. Everyone is ranting about the sky-high price of gas, especially those enormous SUV drivers(THe SUV's, not the drivers...are enormous...oh nevermind).
    Anyway, it reminds me of when I was kid traveling the western U.S. with my dad in his motorhome....It was just after the Iranian Hostage crises and we were flabbergasted at the idea of .80 a gallon gas....Where would it end we thought!

    A better question is "Why?" Why in the name of Buddah are we paying more than twice what we paid less than five years ago while Exxon is posting record-breaking profits?
    I always hear the same sob stories from the Oil companies, they usually go like this:
    "There hasn't been a new refinery built in the U.S. in 30 years...California has stringent environmental laws requiring us to reformulate gas...The Summer Driving Season(!)...Refineries are being repaired...Hurricane Katrina/Rita...If only we could drill in the ANWR/Grand Canyon/Yosemite...blah,blah,blah..count the money,count the money.."

    I found a couple of intersting articles via Digg...you be the judge:
  • Articel 1
  • Article2

    Good luck...I'm buying a Tesla

    PS As luck would have it, NOVA had on a special last night entitled Car of the future. Provided a good overview on the challenges we face...and best of all, it was hosted by Tom and Ray Magliozzi,the Car Talk guys!
  • Wednesday, April 16, 2008

    Bang! Bang! Bang!

    I just watched Shoot 'Em Up last night and had to say something about it. (Trailer here)
    First, I don't think I would have been thrilled to spend nine bucks at a theater to see it...that's why there's Netflix.
    Second, if you like shootouts, I mean really like shootouts, then this is the movie for you. In fact, the whole movie is just one continuous shootout. The hero finds himself in ever more ridiculous situations where he is required to shoot his way out. I won't sopil any of the scenes for you, but trust me, this guy shoots his way out of every position imaginable.

    This is no Oscar winner...hell, it's not even a contender, with the ultra violence, gratuitous nudity, gallons of blood and inane one liners..but there's something about the over-the-top ridiculousness of it all that is appealing. The plot(plot?) is pretty lame, the little idosyncrasies of the protagonist are borderline annoyoing, yet I watched it to the end.
    Why?
    Normally I hate to suspend this much disbelief...really. I could not stand Independence Day...God! Jeff Goldblum hacking the Mothership with a Mac...Kill me now! Somehow with Shoot 'Em Up, you manage to let it slide that the guy just fired 23 shots from a pistol that would hold 14...Or that he actually HIT someone while sliding on his back through a bunch of motor oil. I guess it's like a Kung Movie, don't let the plot or need for good dialog/acting spoil the action. Or as one commenter on IMDB put it: Gun Porn At It's Best.

    Tuesday, April 08, 2008

    Flighty

    Ah, here's another good time-waster...It was sent in one of those emails that's been forwarded a million times, so I naturally was going to ignore it. Since it had to do with Geography, I had to open. (Thanks Mom).

    You might think it's a pretty lame web-game...some sleazy corporate attempt to get you hooked into buying their product or service. Allow me to present you the truly, Worst Web Game Ever*


    *According to Digg voters.

    Monday, March 31, 2008

    Imitation is the Sincerest Form of Flattery

    So I found this site while checking out makeuseof.com today. It claims to track down those annoying copycats out there who are stealing all of your blog contetnt.

    Now for me, it's not such a big deal, you know, because if I ever came up with some original content, the world just might end. For example, I did a search on my URL and found John MCManamon's site that had the same, *gasp*, joke as mine! Eh, well, he posted his 473 days ago...and he referenced William Wallace, not Bonnie Prince Charlie. So he might want to have a word with me.

    On the other hand, this would be useful for guys like The Photoshop Disasters dude I wrote about below, who obvioulsy has someone leeching his stuff. Looks like now he's aware of it and is watermarking all his work.

    So, how do you measure up? Check and see how much of your Intellectual Property is being mined for god knows what reason.

    Thursday, March 20, 2008

    Plastic Surgery Photoshop Disasters

    OK..UPDATE:
    This guy's blog appears to be the original ...the one below I guess is glomming off of it...not sure.

    UPDATE: I am removing the original. DIGG'd link and keeping the Photoshopdisasters page above.

    It's great to see someone calling an "Emperor has no clothes" (or "The Emperor's butt was badly photoshopped")on all the retouched and refinished images we are subjected to every day.
    Honestly, I wonder how many celebrities I've passed on the street, totally unaware of their presence, because they look like every other schlub walking around.

    I'm not sure which fakes I like better: The obvious 'airbrushing' of stars to make then look flawless or the bonehead mistakes of the artists who apparently need to take an anatomy class

    Monday, March 17, 2008

    Thursday, March 13, 2008

    Amused to Death

    OK, what a week.....And yes, I'm an awful person for not updating in weeks. WEEKS!

    What are you gonna do?

    Las Vegas. A week in this town can be rough, especially on someone who has never been. Yes, it's true...I'm a Vegas virgin.
    The thing is, it's the money and what it buys you...A whole city built on entertainment...whatever makes you happy.

    Want to gamble? Knock yourself out? Drink anywhere and everywhere? Sure. Get a prostitute sent to your room in less than 20 minutes? You got it pal. Well, I did one of those, but I wasn't that much happier. You can probably guess which.
    Among other things, it got me to Thinking...capital "T" thinking, about what happiness is, and since Vegas ain't a place you're going to find the Dalai Lama, I did the next best thing and went online.(OK, I was working a conference there and had some downtime too...)

    I managed to run across a guy who was selling his Isolation Tank. Yeah, so it's Joe Rogan...but the idea is that this guy, and plenty of others, used this device in an attempt to attain a higher level of happiness. I know it would have been a better article had it been written by Timothy Leary, but Joe does make a few good points about clearing your mind to find inner peace and happiness. And no, I didn't bother with the video...let me know if it sucked.

    On the other hand, I found a guy writing about a trip he took on his Ural motorcycle. Not just any trip, but a trip from Halifax to Seattle...on a Ural. Those of you who are unfamiliar with Urals just think of them as a motorcycle version of an East German Trabant...but not as smoky and prone to failure. OK, they do fail...just read Lutz' story.But still, not as smoky.

    I read Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance a zillion years ago and at the time i really missed the point. I don't know, I always liked motorcycles and maybe I was thinking there'd be some cool racing or something going on in the book. Lutz' story took me back to that book, it brought the point home. I mean, this guy was daring and brave(and a little nuts) to take this trip, but it's so beautiful. He couldn't have been happier, even though at some point he was riding with only ONE cylinder firing...it didn't matter. This kind of odyssey...is it Quixotic?....Who knows...What I do know is, after reading it I wanted to do it. I wanted to pile my stuff in a Ural and see where the road took me;to greet the occasional mechanical failure as an opportunity to learn, to meet new people, to take in stride the crap life throws you on your journey. I mean, admit it folks, some of our lives are more Ural-like than BMW-like if you know what I mean, and rather than fight it, you should accept the fact that your spark plug wires sometimes get fried and you have to figure out a work-around. It just sounded like such a great trip and when you think about it, a motorcycle is a kind of Isolation Tank.

    I think of the two paths to happiness I read about, Lutz' struck me as the more enjoyable. I'd much rather take my chances on the road than float in a salt bath in pitch darkness...I don't know, call me crazy.

    As for Vegas, meh, it's not for me. Maybe if I were younger and/or single-er, I'd have enjoyed it, but as it was, I chose to dream of rattling down a backroad on a Cossack bike, hoping the axle wouldn't fail before I got to the next town.

    Here's the Ural "accessories" page. Notice the repair manual is the first item listed. I'm just saying.

    Here are more stories of people and their Urals

    Tuesday, February 12, 2008

    Writer's Bloc

    So this bitter strike by the WGA may at this very moment be over. Whew! What a relief...I mean, how long can we be expected to go without? Without...without what?
    It's not like a garbage strike in the middle of summer....or a transit strike that leaves you stranded at a bus stop or train station...What are we actually giving up because of this strike? We're giving up crappy TV.

    Now I know these people have a job to do and we should respect Labor. Believe me, I do: I won't cross a picket line. But how do you NOT cross a picket line here? Most people have not turned off their TV's, they're simply fed slightly crappier fare than usual...All these half-baked shows that I guess the networks keep in reserve in just such a situation. Scab TV! OK, so what is it? It's "Reality TV"...we've had that for a while, but this stuff is the junk that would never normally see the light of day. Not like, you know, "CSI"...or "Two and a Half Men"..or, gack, "According to Jim". There..the emperor has no damn clothes.
    Come on...There's probably somone on that picket who is responsible for "Moesha"!
    Yeah, there are your random "Lost" or "Simpsons" writers, but let's face it, most of these guys are looking for yet another specialty version of "Law and Order" or "CSI".

    I hope they get what they need to make a living, but is too much to ask to get some good product?

    Friday, February 01, 2008

    Stand in the place where you live

    Just saw this Improv Everywhere mission today and thought it was just incredible. I've seen another of this type of thing in a Best Buy or Circuit City (think it was aFlash Mob event), and though it was amusing , it somehow wasn't as powerful as this one.
    I think it's the sheer size...bigger is better! And the sheer number of participants. The reactions are classic and the Agents' ability to remain stock still is awesome. To pull this off in New York is no mean feat...although you could argue there is a large percentage of non -New Yorkers in this case. But the main thing that struck me was how much fun this must be. The good news is, they're not just in New York...They're global.

    Another great Mission was the Abercrombie & Fitch shirtless-in. "What? But you hired a shirtless guy to stand in your store...why can't I shop shirtless?". Um....two words: Man boobs.

    More missions here

    Thursday, January 17, 2008

    Apple Air

    Steve Jobs called...Here's the new Laptop Bag for your Apple Air





    After all, after spending $3200 for a laptop, you'll have nothing left to buy a real bag...

    *UPDATE: OK, I didn't know they wre actually using these things in their commercials...Come on, this is a joke! Honestly, I can't wait to see someone bring their busted up Air into the "Genius Bar" and ask for a warranty repair because the laptop case/envelope didn't keep the LCD from cracking.

    Friday, January 11, 2008

    A Scotsman(boy) has enough

    Got this from my friend Freakshow...He's not Scottish, but can appreciate a good joke when he sees one.


    Teacher: "Good morning children, each Thursday we're
    going to have a general knowledge quiz. The pupil who
    gets the answer right can have Friday and Monday off
    and not come back to school until Tuesday." Wee Jock
    thinks, "Ya bassa. Ah'm
    pure brilliant at ma general knowledge stuff. This is
    gonnae be a dawdle, come ahead ya radge, a lang
    weekend fir me.'

    Teacher: "Right class , who can tell me who said
    'Don't ask what your country can do for you, but what
    you can do for your country?' Wee Jock shoots up his
    hand, waving furiously in the air. Teacher looking
    round picks Jeremy at the front. Teacher: Yes,
    Jeremy." Jeremy (in a very English accent): "Yes miss,
    the answer is J F Kennedy - inauguration speech 1960."
    Teacher: "Very good Jeremy. You may stay off Friday
    and Monday and we will see you back in class on
    Tuesday."

    The next Thursday comes around, and Wee Jock is even
    more determined. Teacher: "Who said. 'We will fight
    them on the beaches, we will fight them in the air, we
    will fight them at sea. But we will never surrender?'"
    Wee Jock's hand shoots up, arm stiff as a board,
    shouting "I know. I know. Me Miss, me Miss." Teacher
    looking round and picks Timothy, sitting at the front:
    "Yes Timothy."

    Timothy (In a very, very posh, English accent): "Yes
    miss, the answer is Winston Churchill, 1941 Battle of
    Britain speech."
    Teacher: " Very good Timothy, you may stay off Friday
    and Monday and come back to class on Tuesday." The
    following Thursday comes around and Wee Jock is hyper,
    he's been studying encyclopedias all week and he's
    ready for anything that comes.

    He's coiled in his wee chair, slavers dripping in
    anticipation. Teacher: "Who said 'One small step for
    man, one giant leap for mankind'?" Wee Jock's arm
    shoots straight in the air, he's standing on his seat,
    jumping up and down screaming "Miss, me miss, meeeeee!
    " Teacher looking round the class picks Rupert,
    sitting at the front: "Yes Rupert." Rupert (In a
    frightfully, frightfully, ever so plummy English
    accent: "Yes miss, that was Neil Armstrong. 1969, The
    first moon landing." Teacher: Very good Rupert. You
    may stay off Friday and Monday and come back into
    class on Tuesday."


    Wee Jock loses the plot altogether, tips his desk and
    throws his wee chair at the wall. He starts screaming:
    "Where the f**K did all these English b*st*rds come
    from?" Teacher looking round the class: "Who the hell
    said that?" Wee Jock, grabs his coat and bag and heads
    for the door, "Bonnie Prince Charlie, Culloden, 1746.
    See you on Tuesday."

    Who was Bonnie Prince Charlie?