I went to the Motorcycle Show this weekend. It's an annual pilgrimage for me this time of year...sort of the adult equivalent of Ralphie's quest for the Red Ryder BB Gun in A Christmas Story.I, like Ralphie, must have the object of my desire in order to make my life complete. But unlike our hero, I, alas, never find my motorcycle carefully hidden behind a piece of furniture on Christmas morning.
What DO I get? I have to deal with the ever-changing whims of the guys who make up the various Marketing groups who name the motorcycles every year. Normally, I'm not a fan of names per se, I prefer an alpha-numeric designation. Unfortunately, names can be evocative and thus, more powerful. Who can forget the Vincent 'Black Shadow', the Norton 'Commando' or the Kawasaki 'Ninja'? The problem is, every Marketing hack thinks his idea will be the next 'Ninja' or 'Super Duke, but we wind up with something like the Aprilia 'Shiver'.Shiver? Are you kidding me? Shiver...really...What is that supposed to evoke? Fear? Draftiness? I mean, Aprilia shares the same cachet as its fraternal company Ducati, which has the awesome 'Monster' in its lineup. The Shiver is an excellent bike, but what self-respecting biker could hang around Zeitgeist talking about his SHIVER?? The 'Shiv' maybe....
Suzuki also gets a thumbs down on their new model that essentially replaces the SV650. As soon as I laid eyes on this it, I was on it faster than an auto exec on a Gulfstream 250! I reached over the bar and grabbed the tag and nearly fell off: The Gladius.What in the name of...GLADIUS? Jesus, it's like the lead in to a raunchy joke. How did they come up with that name. What does it mean?? Its like a Latin test.."Damn, how do you conjugate the verb gladius?" Or was Gladius a famous emperor? It's too bad, because it's a great bike, a possible Monster-killer even, but with a name lime Gladius...Good luck.
That being said, if any of you high-level Suzuki corporate types are reading this and want to prove me wrong, just drop an email and I'll send you a delivery address.
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