Thursday, January 17, 2008

Apple Air

Steve Jobs called...Here's the new Laptop Bag for your Apple Air





After all, after spending $3200 for a laptop, you'll have nothing left to buy a real bag...

*UPDATE: OK, I didn't know they wre actually using these things in their commercials...Come on, this is a joke! Honestly, I can't wait to see someone bring their busted up Air into the "Genius Bar" and ask for a warranty repair because the laptop case/envelope didn't keep the LCD from cracking.

Friday, January 11, 2008

A Scotsman(boy) has enough

Got this from my friend Freakshow...He's not Scottish, but can appreciate a good joke when he sees one.


Teacher: "Good morning children, each Thursday we're
going to have a general knowledge quiz. The pupil who
gets the answer right can have Friday and Monday off
and not come back to school until Tuesday." Wee Jock
thinks, "Ya bassa. Ah'm
pure brilliant at ma general knowledge stuff. This is
gonnae be a dawdle, come ahead ya radge, a lang
weekend fir me.'

Teacher: "Right class , who can tell me who said
'Don't ask what your country can do for you, but what
you can do for your country?' Wee Jock shoots up his
hand, waving furiously in the air. Teacher looking
round picks Jeremy at the front. Teacher: Yes,
Jeremy." Jeremy (in a very English accent): "Yes miss,
the answer is J F Kennedy - inauguration speech 1960."
Teacher: "Very good Jeremy. You may stay off Friday
and Monday and we will see you back in class on
Tuesday."

The next Thursday comes around, and Wee Jock is even
more determined. Teacher: "Who said. 'We will fight
them on the beaches, we will fight them in the air, we
will fight them at sea. But we will never surrender?'"
Wee Jock's hand shoots up, arm stiff as a board,
shouting "I know. I know. Me Miss, me Miss." Teacher
looking round and picks Timothy, sitting at the front:
"Yes Timothy."

Timothy (In a very, very posh, English accent): "Yes
miss, the answer is Winston Churchill, 1941 Battle of
Britain speech."
Teacher: " Very good Timothy, you may stay off Friday
and Monday and come back to class on Tuesday." The
following Thursday comes around and Wee Jock is hyper,
he's been studying encyclopedias all week and he's
ready for anything that comes.

He's coiled in his wee chair, slavers dripping in
anticipation. Teacher: "Who said 'One small step for
man, one giant leap for mankind'?" Wee Jock's arm
shoots straight in the air, he's standing on his seat,
jumping up and down screaming "Miss, me miss, meeeeee!
" Teacher looking round the class picks Rupert,
sitting at the front: "Yes Rupert." Rupert (In a
frightfully, frightfully, ever so plummy English
accent: "Yes miss, that was Neil Armstrong. 1969, The
first moon landing." Teacher: Very good Rupert. You
may stay off Friday and Monday and come back into
class on Tuesday."


Wee Jock loses the plot altogether, tips his desk and
throws his wee chair at the wall. He starts screaming:
"Where the f**K did all these English b*st*rds come
from?" Teacher looking round the class: "Who the hell
said that?" Wee Jock, grabs his coat and bag and heads
for the door, "Bonnie Prince Charlie, Culloden, 1746.
See you on Tuesday."

Who was Bonnie Prince Charlie?