Irony

This is not ironic...or is it?

On A Lighter Note

Thanks everyone for your kind words and thoughts after Asher's death. We're still trying to get used to life without him around the house...Now we actually have to clean up whatever we drop on the floor in the kitchen, no more Asher standing by to grab whatever hits the deck.

I saw a link today to an "impossible soccer game"...a game in which Joseba Etxeberria, Athletic Bilbao's forward, promised to play against 200 local kids. It struck me becasue the team for which I am assistant coach had the same idea: Kids vs. grown ups. We only have 12 seven-year-olds, but still...

So, here's the video on the EITB sports site. It struck me as a great idea: Awesome for the kids and just a nice way to say thanks to the fans. But there was a comment on Digg that really made my day.
Someone 'Benny-Hillified' the video!Benny Hillifier Yes, it's exactly what it sounds like: Take a video and it will Benny-Hillify it by adding the Yakety Sax soundtrack!

And you can too! Just insert the URL of your favorite video and Voila! Instant idiocy!

I made This One

R.I.P Asher 1995-2010

My dog Asher passed away yesterday. He was 14 years old. I remember when I first saw him at the shelter...I wasn't even looking for a dog. I just used to go to the shelter to visit the poor dogs there and when I saw him, I had to take him home.
I almost didn't get to take him. Another person had seen him first and I didn't know there was a a "waiting list", only that I had to call on Monday to see if he was still available. Fortunately for me, he was.

Thus began a 14 year odyssey with sweetest(unless he didn't know you) and craziest dog you'd ever know. He had had such a 'sheltered' life in his first six months that he didn't know that he couldn't walk across water, and so his first introduction to swimming consisted of him trying to walk on the Bay, with predictable results. He was never a big fan of water after that.

His aloofnes and distrust of strangers earned him the moniker asher.mental when I worked at Red Herring, but after he got to know you, he was your friend for life.

When we brought him home, he met our cat, Spock, with whom he immediately wanted to play, much to Spck's dismay. After a while, they became the best animal friends ever and when Spock passed away a few years ago, Asher took the loss very badly. He never got over losing his best friend, and now I know how he felt.
I miss you Asher, you were a good dog.

Why does everyone hate us?

I know what you're thinking, Jersey Shore, right? Well, yeah, maybe, but that is a relatively new phenomenon, there must be something else that leads the world to hate Americans...something enduring, something that's been happening continually over the past few decades.
There is. It's our absolute helplessness in our lives. It's the incredible obstacles we have to overcome in our daily lives, just to remain happy. Tings like not spilling milk all over the table, getting our shoes on without having to bend over, organizing our ever-growing pile of useless CRAP!


Yes, we Americans have it so tough. Apparently we really have a problem with cooking and eating...Meanwhile, a large portion of the world's population is just trying to get enough to eat. In Haiti, they eat dirt cakes.
Also, our uncoordinated and weak pets need a lot of assistance.
I watch this video an cringe. I love the looks of utter despair on their faces!
"Oh what's the use of living, this is not a soft-boiled egg!"
"I just can't keep my storage containers organized! What ever will I DO??"
Man, if this is all you had to go on to get an idea what Americans were like, you'd think we were a nation of spoiled, lazy and stupid losers who can't handle the slightest obstacle in life. Luckily this isn't all the world has to go on....There's also Fox News.

Web$ites

Back in the early Nineties, when the TV show Cops was in full swing, I remember thinking that Reality TV was the future! Unfortunately, I did not know how to capitalize on that.
Now it appears the money-related websites are the new wave of the future. I base this on two, two!, observations:
One was the Cars For A Grand Site(which is still awesome by the way), and the latest is Fiverr(via The Consumerist). This site is devoted to people offering to do things for five dollars. That's right, five bucks! What can you get for five bucks these days? Well, apparently, having your likeness made into a Cartoon or anAnime Characteris pretty popular.
But I like the guy who will hold a poster with your name on it, stand in front of the Sydney Opera House and have a picture taken the best. Because, really, what the hell is that?

P.S. I have no idea how to capitalize on this trend either, but I'm thinking of a quick way to make five bucks!

Happy St. Pat's!

A little cheer from Jonathan Swift:
"All folks who pretend to religion and grace,
Allow there's a HELL, but dispute of the place:
But, if HELL may by logical rules be defined
The place of the damned -I'll tell you my mind.
Wherever the damned do chiefly abound,
Most certainly there is HELL to be found:
Damned poets, damned critics, damned blockheads, damned knaves,
Damned senators bribed, damned prostitute slaves;
Damned lawyers and judges, damned lords and damned squires;
Damned spies and informers, damned friends and damned liars;
Damned villains, corrupted in every station;
Damned time-serving priests all over the nation;
And into the bargain I'll readily give you
Damned ignorant prelates, and counsellors privy.
Then let us no longer by parsons be flammed,
For we know by these marks the place of the damned:
And HELL to be sure is at Paris or Rome.
How happy for us that it is not at home!"
-Jonathan Swift

I have no idea...

It sure is fun to watch though. Oh, and in Soviet Russia, song sings YOU!



Here is a supposed explanation of what you just saw.

Even more and better info HERE with graphs!!

What's The Frequency Kenneth?

I was reading an article in Computer Power User magazine(more about that name later)that floored me. It wasn't really an article, more of a side bar. The gist of it was that RCA has developed a device that you can plug into your mobile phone that will suck the energy from WiFi signals to charge your battery. It's called the Airnergy.

I know...that's what I said. But Gizmodo has a write up on it too.(On the internet, must be true, etc.,etc.) So this thing converts Wifi energy...great, so why aren't we converting radio waves? Are they too weak? Will it distort the signals so Lady GaGa or the Black Eyed Peas will sound lamer than they already do??
I'm not an Electrical Engineer...I can install a ceiling fan, so, yeah, that's the exetent of my knowledge. But, I immediately envisioned people modding these things and hacking their Priuses(Prii?)to take advantage. Imagine a herd of them parked outside a Starbuck's feeding off the wireless teat of the global caffeine giant.

Ew.Anyway, more Priuses that currently congregate outside a Starbuck's.

As far as the name of that magazine goes: Pure Genius. No, I'm not talking about the clever abbreviation of CPU. I'm talking about having the "Power User" in the title of the magazine you're reading.
"Yeah, I'm a Power User baby...overclockin'!" Well, maybe not.But I'm sure someone thought that would be a good idea. Kinda like how I always have a copy of the Scientific American in my back pocket.

Recession-Proof Cars

What a time to buy a car....Toyotas and Hondas have lost their appeal as the flawless vehicles we once thought they were. In the meantime, the truly flawed cars like Chevys and Chryslers are, well, still flawed. I guess you could get a Ford, but now they'll have you over a barrel since they're nearly the only game in town. Oh, there are Nissans, Mazdas, Volvos and BMW's, but let's be honest here, who has any money?

Not me. Hell, I drive a car my sister who, in better times, gave to me when it hit 180,000 miles. It was pretty rough and had a missing passenger-side mirror(still does), so I guess she figured it wouldn't be around much longer. I recently rolled over the 230,000 mark. So when I see cars for sale, I actually look at old cars and the better the deal, the better it looks.

So Cars For A Grand really caught my eye the other day when I saw it featured on Jalopnik. I mean, a car for a thousand bucks? Are you kidding me? Well, for some, yeah, they are.

The guys who started the site have an application that scours the interwebs for cars listed for $1000 or less. Now, a lot are on eBay, and have a low starting bid and will probably wind up above a grand, but who knows?
You can find sub-grand cars, like this one. Wow, what a pedigree though: It overheats, battery is dead and the Bondo is cracking. Good times. Of course, if you,re at all handy with cars, or enjoy bashed and bleeding knuckles, you're all set!

I haven't seen a Trabant on there yet, but I swear I saw Jim Anchower's Ford Festiva on it the other day!

More Ranting on Banks...Now with alternatives!

Thanks to The Consumerist!. Remember my rant below about banks, capitalism and entrepreneurs? Yeah, I kinda hope you don't either.
Anyway, I was checking out The Consumerist when I saw this most awesome post on punishing the Big Banks. Bonus points that it links to the MoveYourMoney site, which has on its homepage a video that begins with clips from "It's A Wonderful Life"...Most awesome.
Better yet, there's a place on moveyourmoney to find local banks near you based on your zip code. My wife and I have been talking about this for the last couple of years, and by god now is the time!

Being Resolute

Some people make New Year's resolutions....not me. I just write a ranting, incoherent blog post about the state of the economy. That and take the family to the Japanese Tea Garden in San Francisco.And why not? The weather is great(sorry rest of the country) and I had time off of work.

One of the most famous sites in the Tea Garden is the Drum Bridge (Taiko Bashi). As a kid I remember the one time my parents took me there and I immediately had to climb over the bridge when I saw it. I had no real appreciation for the work that went into it, nor the beauty of the arc reaching over the tiny stream below.

At that time, I'm sure there was no plaque in place explaining the origins of the bridge, but today there is. I made it a point to read it, as so often I pass by these things or just give them acursory glance. I was truly amazed at what I read(and very disappointed afterward that I could find so little on the subject online).

The story goes like this: Shinshichi Nakatani was
commissioned by the government of Japan to create a Drum Bridge for the 1894 San Francisco Midwinter Fair. He came to San Francisco in the early 1890's and found that he did not have the materials he needed, so had to travel back to Japan, where he built the bridge. It was blessed and disassembled, then shipped to San Francisco. The project ran out of money however, so Nakatani-san went back again to Japan to sell his family's rice fields to raise the needed funds.

OK, stop there. Travelling between Japan and the U.S. in the 1890's isn't like a Jet Blue trip to Miami. It's grueling days at sea, with no guarantee you'll even arrive. On top of that, he sold his family farm to complete this job he was entrusted with.

He then asked his son to remain in the U.S. for nearly fifty years in order to work and save enough money to buy back the family farm.

Why had I never heard of this?? I was was honestly dumbfounded after reading that. I ran to catch up with my wife and kids and led tham back to the plaque and read the story to them. I felt like this man and his son needed a lot more recognition for their contributions than just this sign next to tthe bridge. I could not find the words to explain to my daughters the level of responsibility, honor and perseverance this man had. I will never look at that the bridge the same
...I will always think of Shinshichi Nakatani travelling half way around the globe, twice, to ensure the bridge found its rightful place as promised.

Please visit the Nakatani Family web site for more detailed and better researched information.

In searching online for information, I ran across these San Francisco Recreation and Parks Commission Minutes. See page 2 for some of the controversy surrounding the placement of the plaque.

Holly Jolly

I know I shouldn't do this, what with Christmas and all, but I've kept my trap shut for a,long time about this. "This" is the situation we all find ourselves in today: An economy in the tank, a worthless Congress that can't pass a real piece of game-changing legislation, and a public that is increasingly being led to believe our country is on the verge of becoming the next Cuba.

What brought me to this lowly state? It was...soap poisoning! Oh wait, wrong movie. I have had a few reminders of the political/economic state we're in. First, was the eerie deja vu feeling I got while watching "It's a Wonderful Life"...as Mr. Potter gobbled up all the businesses in town and went on a tirade against the "discontented, lazy rabble" who want home loans. Potter wasn't a miser, not at all, he used is money to monopolize(read: Destroy competition) all the businesses in town. This in conjunction with the news that good ol' Wells Fargo was paying back their government money. Gee, didn't they do well by grabbing up some struggling banks? Thanks for the loan Uncle Sam! What's that? Someone needs to modify their mortgage so they don't lose their house? SCREW ' EM! Oh, and Merry Christmas.

The next was an article my friend sent me. He sends me a lot of things like this, it keeps me balanced I suppose. But this one in particular really drove me nuts. The guy starts out with a biblical quote, I guess we are to believe the Bible is now an expert source on Economics, but ultimately, it's a moral issue. He goes on to say that Entrepreneurs (he tends to mix capitalism and entrpreneurism freely) are actually driven by an altruistic desire to help, not money. You silly Lefties, see? It's all about taking care of peoples' need. OK, great, I might buy that on a limited scale, but the article ends with the author bemoaning the cap on pay and bonuses for bankers! What? A. Are investment bankers really entrepreneurs? And B. What about their altruistic drive to help others? Oh yeah, that was just a load of crap to make greed more palatable.
Don't get me wrong, I know that competition and risk are necessary for innovation and ultimately we all get rewarded in one way or another, but these articles that stop just short of praising greed and selfishness? Too soon? Yeah, maybe. The mere hint of a Public Option for medical care sets off alarm bells around the country! "They'll raise taxes!" they say. Yeah, about that...see, one of the mainstays of Conservatism(or Libertarianism, which seems to be invoked more often in light of the previous administrations destruction of our country's economy and liberties) is the idea of responsibility. Like, being able to pay for what you buy. So, yeah, they want to raise taxes to PAY for Health Care, unlike running two wars simultaneously and not raising taxes...you know, so the next guy will have to.
Anyway, this drive to convince you that your government, any government, is essentially the enemy, is really getting out of control. Do these Republican Senators not see the irony that they decry a "socialist" health plan, when they themselves take advantage of one? And how about the constant comparisons to the Post Office? You know, the veiled threat that your health care will be run like the U.S. Postal Service. Really? OK, you might be able to argue that that wouldn't be so bad. The few PO's I've used in my neighborhood aren't that bad, certainly I have patronized private businesses that were definitely run worse, but OK, fine let's let them keep that one. My question is this, why is it that the Post Office is always used as an example? Why not NASA? They do some pretty cool things...would you like your health care run like that? Or, how about the U.S. Military? Sure, Senators are always using the "troops" for political points or photo ops or any other "use"...except their health care. Why? Because then you'd be denigrating the troops and that is a political no-no, but let's face it folks, they are government workers, are they not? Of course they are, and they all get the dreaded government health care(as did I until I was a teenager, and it wasn't the end of the world).

So to sum up: Wall Street Investment Bankers are just altruistic entrepreneurs, who only care about the People's needs(But let's not regulate their bonuses, eh?).
The government is useless and possibly even your enemy, except the guy telling you this, who seems to always have an "R" after his name.


Here's a great Frontline episode on comparative health care systems around the world.

And some light reading...how the whole "The Government is your enemy" thing all started: The Man Who Sold the World

Happy New Year.

RIP Liam Clancy

Liam Clancy passed away today. My sister-in-law,whose mom had the pleasure of meeting the Clancys, alerted me and this is the first song that came to mind.
RIP Liam

Ohne Mauern leben

It's been twenty years since that momentous day when the unthinkable happened: The Berlin Wall came down. I remember the first time I visited Berlin and was in awe of this monolith, this insane testament to man's warped sense of reason. The citizen's of East Berlin were told the wall was thee to protect them from the evil West.
I was obsessed with the Wall. I spent days just walking along it, looking over the into the eastern side at the tanks traps and razor wire...the soldiers staring down at me through binoculars, until i raised my camera to take their picture, which sent them scurrying away from the window of their tower.

In light of the anniversary of the Wall's demise, I'm recommending a few movies that capture some of the essence of that time;

First is Das Leben der Anderen(Lives of others). This captures the oppressive control the Stasi had over the people of East Berlin and the ultimate futility of the whole system.

Second, a comedy: Goodbye Lenin. An hilarious comedy of errors, where a son tries to convince his good Socialist mother that everything is as it always was, despite the wall coming down.

Last is only remotely related to East Berlin/The Wall, but is worth a watch: Hedwig and the Angry Inch. It's a loves story...boy/girl meets boy, boy/girl loses boy, boy/girls goes on a quest to find boy.

Here's a link from good ol' Paracelsus that shows some pics of the wall. Be sure to click on numbers 13,14 and 15 to see a Before and After...stunning.

And Sid Vicious' observations...

It's Not Like It's Written In Stone

Are you thinking of getting a tattoo? Maybe you've been out with your friends and have had a drink or two...or seven or eight..and think to yourself, "Hey, let's go get a tattoo!(hic)".
Or maybe you're really hip, or the silent, brooding, mysterious type. Maybe you just want one because everyone else has one. All good reasons of course, I mean who the hell am I to say what you should do to your body? It's not like it's written in stone.
Wait. No, really, wait. Go look at some of the Ugliest Tattoos on the face of this Earth...or face even.

Some are dopey typos that just make you wonder "How?"

Others make you wonder about the "skill level" of the "artist". Yeah...or if maybe the artist drank as much as the customer.

Some just make you cringe

Some are NSFW...that is Not Safe For Work OR the World!

Almost forgot: The obligatory Chinese Characters

Still want that ink?

Heroes

"Hero: n., 1.a man of distinguished courage or ability, admired for his brave deeds and noble qualities. 2. a person who, in the opinion of others, has heroic qualities or has performed a heroic act and is regarded as a model or ideal".

When you think of heroes, what typically comes to mind are soldiers who throw themselves on grenades to save their comrades or New York Firemen who, without concern for their own safety, entered the World Trade Center buldings to save the lives of those trapped inside. These are indeed heroic acts, but there are other heroes in this world...A lot of them, like Brooksley Born, are of the unsung variety.
Until now that is...Check out this Frontline Special on the history of the economic meltdwn we are experiencing now.

Even after saying "I told you so" in the late '90's, she was still ignored...then villified and eventually run out of town. But she never gave up...and she was right the whole time.

There's also an Interviewwith her on the Frontline site.

Tom Hanks, your staircase is ready

Or, how to battle obesity.
Would you take the stairs rather than an escalator if it were more "fun"?
Well, some people in Stockholm wanted to find out, so they created the The Piano Staircase. Not too surprisingly, more people chose the stairs over the escalator.
Honestly though, if you were to put one of these in Grand Central Station, the resulting sound would be one, big irritating mess of notes.So it's back to the escalator and a big bag of chips to munch as you slowly ascend.

This just in: A local resident in Stockholm, Sweden was severely injured when he tried pounding out Chopin's "Polonaise" on the stairs in the Odenplan.

People Who Died

Jim Carroll is dead
He died Last Friday and was only 60 years old. Although maybe "only" isn't the right word. He managed to survive most of his childhood acquaintances by several years and considering his early years, it's a wonder he made as far as he did.
I remember having a cassette tape of Catholic Boy and wore the damn thing out in a nihilistic frenzy of non-stop play. Unfortunately, its raw, brutal style was its attraction for me at a young age and I think a lot of people were drawn to that seedy tableau Jim painted with music and words.(He also wrote the autobiographical "The Basketball Diaries"). Wasn't until later in life I realized that it's easy to romanticize the junky/misfit life when you're not living it.
If you haven't read The Basketball Diaries yet, you really should. I think it's a must for everyone....it definitely takes away the glamour of drug use and now that poor Jim is dead, it's that much more powerful.
RIP Jim.
Here's a video of "People Who Died". I chose this one despite the clips of Leonardo DiCaprio in it from the movie of "The Basketball Diaries", mainly becuase this was the version of the song I knew and loved.

Write much?

Well, apparently not.....that extended vaction thing really took its toll on me. I lost all motivation to do anything except swim, ride my bike and lay around in the sun.

But, now that I'm back to the real world, I've fallen into my old routines: Still not writing and watching too much TV at night. Which brings me to this little gem. Out on the West Coast we have an ice cream chain called Baskin Robbins(Some people call it 31 Flavors, I guess it's kind of like how some people call Kentucky Fried Chicken "The Colonel's"....what is that all about?).
So they have this really annoying or catchy(depending on your tolerance level)commercial on TV that everyone just calls "Ice Cream and Cake":


Now, the first time I saw this, I thought it must have been something created by the Writers of Saturday Night Live. In fact, I defy anyone to tell me that isn't Justin Timberlake singing...
Turns out it's the Buckwheat Boyz who, evidently, excel at really annoying riffs like this and the Internet meme Peanut Butter Jelly Time. Wow...yeah...I kinda like my original idea that it was SNL writers who came up with it, because now we have to face the fact that someone out there is writing this and taking it seriously!

Man, I've listened to it far too many times...I think I need a vacation.

Auf Ferien

Out of commission for the last few weeks(and a few more to come)...I'm on an extended vacation.