Thursday, October 23, 2008

Meet Me In The Middle

A former co-worker of mine is a total Evite queen and is always planning Happy Hour get togethers with current and former employees. Problem is, I don't work in Silicon Valley anymore and another former co-worker and I are always getting pissed off that the gatherings are invariably in Mountain View or Sunnyvale. Neither of us are thrilled at the prospect of driving about an hour to the gig. What's a guy to do? Well, fortunately, there's MeetWays, which will provide you a halfway point to use as a meeting place! Awesome, so let's see...I enter their work address and mine...*searching*...and there ya go...we'll meet in the middle of the Bay, just west of San leandro.
Hmm, OK, maybe I should add a "Halfway Location", like "Pub" or "Beer". Ah, there...wait, Embassy Suites in Burlingame?

Despite this particular case, I really like this tool, at the very least, becasue it will finally end those squabbles over who drove farther to meet someone.
So have fun.

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

O'Bama

OK, looks like we've wrapped up the Catholic vote. Yeah, no, I mean...didn't you know Barack was Irish? Don't give me that look...You haven't heard of Hardy Drew and the Nancy Boys?

The link above includes their lyrics and here's their Video. Pretty dang funny...

But, it gets better. Shay Black got permission to add a few lines, and there are some great ones in there.
"Fenian to Kenyan it's the American Way..."
or
"With Cheney and Bush, they are ALL IGNORAMA...
There's no one as Irish as Barack O'Bama"

And I believe this is performed at the Starry Plough in Berkeley.

So check it out and enjoy.

Tuesday, October 07, 2008

Election Shenanigans

Like everybody else, I thought I was the only one to notice that elections are bercoming slimier and nastier as the years go by. Apparently, this is only partially accurate. Seems elections have always been raging cesspools of idiocy. It's nice to know our Founding Fathers weren't above calling their opponent's wife a whore. Gee, in light of that, we've come a long way.

On the other hand, I don't remember a VP canidiate who was a Secessionist!. Boy, Sarah, Jefferson Davis would be proud, you betcha!

Sunday, September 28, 2008

For Sale...Cheap!

We had a garage sale a week ago. No, I don't own stock in Lehman Brothers...

I hate them, I mean, hosting them. I do like to go to garage sales and see what I can find, you know, that whole "I-might-find-something-I-can-bring-to-Antiques Roadshow-and-make-a-bundle-of-money" thing. But having one? Feh! Look, I only like the part where people pay me to take away my junk. And despite the state of the economy,people are not all that desperate to take everything.

I mentioned it to my friend who hates garage sales worse than I do.He will never have one and will regale you for minutes, minutes I tell you, on how lame they are. It got me to thinking about them and I remembered our Irish friend who was mortified when she saw one. She was embarrassed for the people and could not believe someone would haul out their personal belongings and throw them on a blanket in their driveway...I figured showing her a Flea Market would just about kill her.

Then I remembered that scene in "Borat"..I'm pretty sure Sacha Cohen thinks Garage Sales are freakish too.


But the most bizarre take on Garage Sales is that they are GREEN. Yes, you read that right: Garage Sales are part of the whole re-use and recycle part of a Green lifestyle. So much so, that our town and a neighbouring town are working together to sponsor a dual citywide Garage Sale.
OK, I can see that...I admit, I was able to avoid a run to the dump after our sale. What didn't sell, wound up on the curb or I took to the Goodwill. But it just seems funny that the humble Garage Sale, the event you use to rid yourself of the consumerist detritus that has accumulated n your life, is now a radical, environmental statement.

Maybe those schmucks at Lehman Brothers should have one...you know, save us all $700 billion.

Monday, September 22, 2008

Aux Barricades!

Like many of you reeling from the financial news of the last few days, I too am surprised at the dearth of pitchfork and torch-wielding citizenry at the gates of the Investment banks and even the White House itself. Having barely endured Economics in college, I do not propose to explain what the hell is going on, however I did find an article that seems to summarize it pretty well.

The weird thing is, the names McCain and Gramm seem to show up a lot in it.

Friday, September 05, 2008

"Auntie" Up

So I had a pretty "traditional" Labor Day", what with the barbecue and the sitting outside in the sun with friends and family. There was, however, a slighlty less-than-traditional element involved this time, and it consisted of a card game. But let me back up a little first.

Back in the mid-nineties, I attended my friend Jean's wedding. He had a lot of family visiting, one of whom was his Aunt. At the time, she was about75 years old, but she was no wet blanket. Au contraire, she was going to teach us how to play Mus! Mus is a Basque card game that requires quite a bit of concentration, so being three or four sheets to the wind that my friend Alan and I were at the time did not help at all. Oh, and you have to communicate in Basque...you know, that whacky language that doesn't seem to have any distinct origin.
Anyway, Jean's aunt was busy trying to explain the game to us, but between her limited English and our limited brain capacity, it began to feel a lot like a game of Fizzbin!

So fast-forward to last weekend..we were at it again, however this time, I wasn't drinking and we had the Internet(Huray Internet!). We googled "mus" and fuond the rules. If you can call them rules. Talk about screwy...Here's a breakdown(and yes, I will provide a link later to the source):

  • The person drawing the lowest card deals.
  • Deal goes counterclockwise
  • 8's,9's and 10's are pulled from the deck, King is the highest card, Ace is the lowest.
  • Then there is the play, where you actually have four ways to play and bet and a fifth "if necessary". I kid you not.

    Since we had a print out of the rules and the words you have to use to keep the game going, it was a lot easier to play and sometimes even win. Also, we did not look like a couple of rubes who just fell off the last sheep wagon rolling into town.
    Alan and I got pretty good at bandying about the Basque words and phrases, although we did start to modify them into "Basqulish" which just confused the other people at the table who could actually speak the language.

    All in all, it is an awesome game. "Cheating" is encouraged! Yes, you're expected to make little facial ticks to your partner, but be careful you don't get caught, otherwise the opposing team will be on to you.

    Hopefully we'll get another chance to play and if you want in, then go to this site for more information.
    Here's a site that will allow you to hear how the words are pronounced. I got pretty good at "Jokua ez".
  • Tuesday, September 02, 2008

    Let Them Eat Cake

    Can't stop laughing long enough to eat my cake...
    Check out some of these Cake Disasters

    I really like the Punctuation problems here and here

    Wednesday, August 27, 2008

    Watch Your Step

    Found this on a list of "These are NOT Photoshopped Pictures. It's the world's largest diamond mine and is located in Mirny, Russia.

    Where to begin...? So many joke possibilities: "Hey, looks like the asshole of the world isn't Newark, New Jersey!"Just look at that thing! Imagine walking home from the bar one night,you take a wrong turn and...Let's hope they have a nice big fence around it.

    Check out the truck they use to haul out dirt, then check the picture where the truck is in the mine. I think there must be a Howard Johnson's about half way down, you know, for pit stops and whatnot.

    Sure it's just a big hole, but as far as man-made oddities, I think it ranks high, especially since it's so close to a city. Sure, it might look a little weird out in the middle of nowhere, but check out the planes at the end of the airstrip...Oh, and note in the article that the airspace above is off limits to helicopters. *shudder*

    This
    is a Google Map satellite view. I put this last, because I think the pictures where you can't see the bottom are a lot more eerie. Yeah, Hades called, he says "Close the damn door, were you born in a barn?"

    Planet Saved from Destruction. Huzzah!

    Remeber my post about the asteroid a while back? You know, it's on a collison course with Earth, we're all doomed, check my countdown timer from time to time? Yeah, that one.
    Well, you can all breathe a huge sigh of relief, because a really bright Sheila has come up with a way to deflect that nasty rock so we can go on with our lives, however meaningless and hollow they may be.
    Her plan is to wrap the thing in Mylar making it a bright, shiny object whose reflective qualities will cause it to be "pushed" away from the sun. Yeah, sounds like a load of shite to me too, but just in case, please send all of your old bithday and party baloons to the University of Queensland's School of Engineering, care of the Sheila who has a few kangaroos loose in the top paddock.

    Monday, August 25, 2008

    USA! USA! USA!

    Wow everybody, the U.S. Men's Basketball team took the Gold! Imagine, a professional basketball team played...together....as a team...and won the Gold Medal. I, for one, am shocked.
    Thank god the Olympics are over so we don't have to be subjected to anymore blathering about how truly amazing it is that these guys went on to beat all comers.


    Monday, August 18, 2008

    Revelation

    Signs that the end is near:



    1. Camel makes menthol cigarettes. It's the one on the right

    2. Motorcycles come with a reverse gear. Scroll to "Drivetrain". I even linked it to the model that has an airbag!

    3. BMX Racing in the Olympics.So, is the age cut off like 12?

    Ugh, looks like we're hosed...

    Thursday, August 07, 2008

    What a Gas

    Here's a sign that the oil crisis is real: On a recent family vacation, my brother-in-law's boat, which can never run for more than about 20 minutes, crapped out again in the middle of the lake. After getting towed to shore, he asked if I wanted some of the gas he just filled up the #$%*! boat with. Really, how bad is that? I declined, but not after seriously considering the offer.

    Remember way back when, back in 2006 when I was ranting that we should have the Smart Car here in the U.S.?(Yeah, I know, I way ahead of the curve, thank you very much).Well, I've been inspired again to rave about cool little cars. Now THESE cars are cool and High Mileage! This is exactly what we need now, while gas prices are still high. Believe me, as soon as gas falls back to the ultra low price of $3.00 per gallon, people will be right back at the car dealerships putting a down payment on an SUV.

    It's not enough to get these cars in America. We need a paradigm shift(sorry, but I couldn't think of another term). We need to get those Madison Avenue marketing geniuses to get to work convincing us how awesomely cool it is to drive cars that feel like little race cars and still get killer MPG. I'm already convinced...so, hand over one of those Alfa Romeo MiTo's already!

    Tuesday, July 08, 2008

    Super Basque

    My friend Jean died last month. It took me a while to get around to writing about it and it's still a bit unreal even after all this time.

    I met Jean when I was a student at UCSB. The only reason I did was because my roommate at the time, Alan, was a Graduate Student in Physics and they all tended to hang out together. I hung out with them because they were older and wiser...and could easily buy beer.(NOTE: Alan and Jean were witness to the famed Naked Felix. Chris Felix also tragically died at a young age).
    Jean was a French Basque who had his own apartment in Isla Vista, the chic slum-like beach side community for students at UCSB. Since he was the only one with his own place, we all naturally gravitated to it in the evenings, sometimes to his consternation. You see, Jean liked his privacy and we were all usually too clueless or loaded to get the subtle clues that we really needed to get the hell out...for god's sake it was two AM! But Jean was not mean or rude...he has been described by some as bitter or angst-ridden, but I never knew him to say a bad thing about another person. The fact that he put up with me, an Undergrad majoring in Poli-Sci, and never talked down to me and even accepted me in the confederacy of physics geeks that hung out at his studio apartment, proved what a big hearted guy he was.

    Not only was Jean a mensch, he could COOK! Of course, he never let us in on this secret talent until after he had moved away. He once cooked a rack of lamb at a New Year's party we had and it was phenomenal. Up until that time I thought he was a pretty awesome nacho chef....

    Oh, and he was smart as hell...really. I knew he was a smart guy, but I didn't know how smart. See, Jean could talk to you an just about any subject, intelligently, and was never arrogant about it. Since he knew I was in the dark about High Energy Physics, he stuck to discussing things that I would bring up. Check this out. If your brain doesn't explode after 5 seconds like mine did, well you're a better man than I.

    Jean was also instrumental in getting my wife and I married. He was working at CERN at the time and we decided to get married in Geneva. He took care of all the details and planning from his end, despite being neck deep in research...I don't think I ever thanked him enough for all the work he did for us. To think, I might have been married in the county courthouse in Oakland had it not been for Jean!

    Finally, don't just take my word for it. Google Jean Duboscq and see for yourself. Or have a look at this blog entry from an old friend of his. Jean really left an impression on everyone he met. Here are others whose lives he touched.

    Jean, I will really miss you. Rest easy.

    Monday, July 07, 2008

    Whew!

    OK, I was on vacation for a week. A whole week...god, when's the last time I did that? Anyway, I have a lot to blather on about, but will wait a bit until I've recovered.

    Wednesday, June 18, 2008

    More Flag Stuff

    Found this via the Games For The Brain site. What a great way to test if you really checked out the Flagged Post I did!

    Wednesday, June 11, 2008

    Danger Will Robinson!

    My daughter asked me to replace the battery on her Tamagotchi and as I was disassembling it, I noticed a little warning next to the battery compartment that said:
    "CAUTION: Battery harmful if swallowed".
    Really? I mean, you don't say....Have we come to the point in our overly litigious,Nanny State that we have to warn people that it's probably not a good idea to let your kids eat batteries?
    This is the part where I go on my old man rant about how when WE were kids, we didn't have bicycle helmets, baby gates, or even poison labels! Hell, if little Jimmy keeled over after drinking that stuff on a dare, well, you'd just remember not to drink that stuff!Dagnabit, when I was a kid, we had it tough!

    Anyway, there are enough other people out there who feel the same way that they've collected a few of these gems.
    One of my favorites:
    "Caution: Remove infant before folding for storage." -- On a portable stroller.
    *sigh*
    See to believe:
    Shouldn't it be obvious?
    Don't put crap into your mouth
    Remove the sun shade before driving your car...

    Sunday, June 08, 2008

    Flagged!

    So, as you all probably know already, June 14 is Flag Day in the United States. (What?You didn't know?) While none of us but one lucky state gets the day off as a Holiday(I'm looking at you Pennsylvania...assuming it's still a state holiday...if not, well, sorry), we should still honor the day by flying our beloved Stars and Stripes. Which got me to thinking. Remember when you were a kid in school and you invariably were tasked with drawing the U.S. flag? Remember what a pain it was? all those straight lines for the stripes and the stars! Gah! Fifty stars, and who could make a decent looking star anyway? Except for that one girl up front who did everything well...dang teacher's pet!

    Anyway, I remembered thinking that those Japanese kids had it easy, what with a big white flag with a Red circle in the middle...I mean, come on, how tough is that?(Actually, probably pretty tough...you have that whole perfect circle thing, then the centering.) So I found a couple of sites with World Flags to see how bad some kids have it.

    I'm pretty sure the kids in Libya have it made. Let's see, one big green rectangle? Check. Done. What's next?

    The Kazakh kids on the other hand...I'm guessing the guys who designed it never had to actually draw a flag when they were kids. The filigree is nice, but there's no way a 3rd grader is going to nail that...and that hawk? Forget it.

    Pity the poor Nepalese kids...they have to get creative with the shape!

    Belarus....eh, that looks like old dot-matrix graphics on the left side there...

    The Brazilian kids not only have to do stars like the U.S. kids, but they have to get them right or risk creating new, unheard of constellations!

    For those little tykes on the Isle of Mann, well, I just hope they have good therapists, because that is freaky!

    I know that if I had been a kid in Mozambique, I would have been totally psyched. You get to draw an AK-47 That's a pretty bad-ass flag.

    This site has fewer flags listed than the ones linked above, but the bonus is, it has an explanation behind the colors, designs, etc. Good times.

    Wednesday, May 21, 2008

    Sticks and Stones


    I've stayed out of this whole Anonymous vs. Scientology war, but recently ran across an article that makes my blood boil.

    Seems a 15 year old protestor in London has been Arrested for holding a sign that used the word "cult" to describe the church of scientology. Apparently, the group of protestors at the May 10th event were "banned by police from describing Scientology as a cult by police because it was 'abusive and insulting'." Wait...What?

    This is not the first time the phalanx of scientologist lawyers have used the law(or misused I'd say) to prevent people from excercising basic rights.In fact, the rise of the Anonymous protest against scientology was initiated by scientology's attempts to remove links to videos that were deemed insulting to them. Here is a site with some information and tactics...note the quote at the top by the founder of scientology.
    To be sure, I am a little concerned about even noting things like this, as the scientologists are well known for the ability to harras and intimidate...but then, that's the reason I am writing this. How can people stand by when someone gets arrested for holding up a sign with the word "cult " on it?

    What are they afraid of?(WARNING: Sites listed below contain images that may be disturbing.) Sites like this or this one claim to provide evidence of more nefarious deeds by the church.

    All this has got me to thinking and has led me to delve deeper into what the protest against scientology is all about. There is a lot of information out there, so if you too are curious, there's nothing stopping you from getting at it...at least, not yet.

    The next protest is planned for June 14th.


    UPDATE: Looks like sanity prevailed

    Tuesday, May 06, 2008

    April 13, 2029

    After reading Paracelsus' grim report on How much time we have left on Earth (reminds me, I should really clean the garage), I was already a bit apprehensive about the fate of our planet. Then, I caught a bit of City Arts and Lectures with Neil deGrasse Tyson talking about Asteroid 2004 MN4 (or Apophis) which is slated to come within 18,600 miles of Earth's surface".
    Or as NASA's site puts it, "On April 13, 2029, asteroid 2004 MN4 will fly past Earth only 18,600 miles (30,000 km) above the ground. For comparison, geosynchronous satellites orbit at 22,300 miles (36,000 km)." NASA also has a cool animated model so you can see an Alpha Centaurian's-eye view of the (near) collision!

    The big test apparently is in 2035 when some(notably Dr. Tyson) think the asteroid will actually smack into Earth....So, maybe I can live with these gas prices, but I will start saving money to get a place further away from the coast.

    One more thing, I found another cool gadget on makeuseof that let's you create your own Countdown Timer.
    So here's my Doomsday Clock

    Wednesday, April 30, 2008

    Southern Belles

    I don't know, maybe it's because I'm getting old(er) or I think popular music today can't hold a candle to awesomeness that was the early Eighties....For whatever reason, I seem to be drawn to morose, Southern singer/songwriters of the female persuasion.

    It started a while back, after watching O Brother Where Art Thou?, I bought the soundtrack and fell in love with Alison Krauss' voice. Then, on a drive home from work, when I used to nearly die driving almost two hours one way, I heard "I Wanna Die" by Jolie Holland on KALX. It was so raw and haunting, I bought the CD the next day. Beautiful stuff and my favorite track turned out to be "Wandering Angus", which is a poem by W.B. Yeats that Jolie put to music.
    My new Southern girl is Mary Gauthier. Same deal...driving in the car, switched channels (KFOG this time) and heard the last minute of Between The Daylight And The Dark". I just sat in the driveway until the last note faded and was dumbstruck...Of course, I bought the CD the next day. You can listen to samples on hersite, but I'd reccomend getting her latest album. I'm listening to some of her older stuff and will probably wind up with a few of those CD's as well, but this one is stunning. If you don't cry during "Thanksgiving", there's something wrong with you.

    Oh well, don't know who I'll end up enamored with next, but if you have any suggestions, I'd love to hear them.