More Flag Stuff

Found this via the Games For The Brain site. What a great way to test if you really checked out the Flagged Post I did!

Danger Will Robinson!

My daughter asked me to replace the battery on her Tamagotchi and as I was disassembling it, I noticed a little warning next to the battery compartment that said:
"CAUTION: Battery harmful if swallowed".
Really? I mean, you don't say....Have we come to the point in our overly litigious,Nanny State that we have to warn people that it's probably not a good idea to let your kids eat batteries?
This is the part where I go on my old man rant about how when WE were kids, we didn't have bicycle helmets, baby gates, or even poison labels! Hell, if little Jimmy keeled over after drinking that stuff on a dare, well, you'd just remember not to drink that stuff!Dagnabit, when I was a kid, we had it tough!

Anyway, there are enough other people out there who feel the same way that they've collected a few of these gems.
One of my favorites:
"Caution: Remove infant before folding for storage." -- On a portable stroller.
*sigh*
See to believe:
Shouldn't it be obvious?
Don't put crap into your mouth
Remove the sun shade before driving your car...

Flagged!

So, as you all probably know already, June 14 is Flag Day in the United States. (What?You didn't know?) While none of us but one lucky state gets the day off as a Holiday(I'm looking at you Pennsylvania...assuming it's still a state holiday...if not, well, sorry), we should still honor the day by flying our beloved Stars and Stripes. Which got me to thinking. Remember when you were a kid in school and you invariably were tasked with drawing the U.S. flag? Remember what a pain it was? all those straight lines for the stripes and the stars! Gah! Fifty stars, and who could make a decent looking star anyway? Except for that one girl up front who did everything well...dang teacher's pet!

Anyway, I remembered thinking that those Japanese kids had it easy, what with a big white flag with a Red circle in the middle...I mean, come on, how tough is that?(Actually, probably pretty tough...you have that whole perfect circle thing, then the centering.) So I found a couple of sites with World Flags to see how bad some kids have it.

I'm pretty sure the kids in Libya have it made. Let's see, one big green rectangle? Check. Done. What's next?

The Kazakh kids on the other hand...I'm guessing the guys who designed it never had to actually draw a flag when they were kids. The filigree is nice, but there's no way a 3rd grader is going to nail that...and that hawk? Forget it.

Pity the poor Nepalese kids...they have to get creative with the shape!

Belarus....eh, that looks like old dot-matrix graphics on the left side there...

The Brazilian kids not only have to do stars like the U.S. kids, but they have to get them right or risk creating new, unheard of constellations!

For those little tykes on the Isle of Mann, well, I just hope they have good therapists, because that is freaky!

I know that if I had been a kid in Mozambique, I would have been totally psyched. You get to draw an AK-47 That's a pretty bad-ass flag.

This site has fewer flags listed than the ones linked above, but the bonus is, it has an explanation behind the colors, designs, etc. Good times.

Sticks and Stones

I've stayed out of this whole Anonymous vs. Scientology war, but recently ran across an article that makes my blood boil.

Seems a 15 year old protestor in London has been Arrested for holding a sign that used the word "cult" to describe the church of scientology. Apparently, the group of protestors at the May 10th event were "banned by police from describing Scientology as a cult by police because it was 'abusive and insulting'." Wait...What?

This is not the first time the phalanx of scientologist lawyers have used the law(or misused I'd say) to prevent people from excercising basic rights.In fact, the rise of the Anonymous protest against scientology was initiated by scientology's attempts to remove links to videos that were deemed insulting to them. Here is a site with some information and tactics...note the quote at the top by the founder of scientology.
To be sure, I am a little concerned about even noting things like this, as the scientologists are well known for the ability to harras and intimidate...but then, that's the reason I am writing this. How can people stand by when someone gets arrested for holding up a sign with the word "cult " on it?

What are they afraid of?(WARNING: Sites listed below contain images that may be disturbing.) Sites like this or this one claim to provide evidence of more nefarious deeds by the church.

All this has got me to thinking and has led me to delve deeper into what the protest against scientology is all about. There is a lot of information out there, so if you too are curious, there's nothing stopping you from getting at it...at least, not yet.

The next protest is planned for June 14th.

UPDATE: Looks like sanity prevailed

April 13, 2029

After reading Paracelsus' grim report on How much time we have left on Earth (reminds me, I should really clean the garage), I was already a bit apprehensive about the fate of our planet. Then, I caught a bit of City Arts and Lectures with Neil deGrasse Tyson talking about Asteroid 2004 MN4 (or Apophis) which is slated to come within 18,600 miles of Earth's surface".
Or as NASA's site puts it, "On April 13, 2029, asteroid 2004 MN4 will fly past Earth only 18,600 miles (30,000 km) above the ground. For comparison, geosynchronous satellites orbit at 22,300 miles (36,000 km)." NASA also has a cool animated model so you can see an Alpha Centaurian's-eye view of the (near) collision!

The big test apparently is in 2035 when some(notably Dr. Tyson) think the asteroid will actually smack into Earth....So, maybe I can live with these gas prices, but I will start saving money to get a place further away from the coast.

One more thing, I found another cool gadget on makeuseof that let's you create your own Countdown Timer.
So here's my Doomsday Clock

Southern Belles

I don't know, maybe it's because I'm getting old(er) or I think popular music today can't hold a candle to awesomeness that was the early Eighties....For whatever reason, I seem to be drawn to morose, Southern singer/songwriters of the female persuasion.

It started a while back, after watching O Brother Where Art Thou?, I bought the soundtrack and fell in love with Alison Krauss' voice. Then, on a drive home from work, when I used to nearly die driving almost two hours one way, I heard "I Wanna Die" by Jolie Holland on KALX. It was so raw and haunting, I bought the CD the next day. Beautiful stuff and my favorite track turned out to be "Wandering Angus", which is a poem by W.B. Yeats that Jolie put to music.
My new Southern girl is Mary Gauthier. Same deal...driving in the car, switched channels (KFOG this time) and heard the last minute of Between The Daylight And The Dark". I just sat in the driveway until the last note faded and was dumbstruck...Of course, I bought the CD the next day. You can listen to samples on hersite, but I'd reccomend getting her latest album. I'm listening to some of her older stuff and will probably wind up with a few of those CD's as well, but this one is stunning. If you don't cry during "Thanksgiving", there's something wrong with you.

Oh well, don't know who I'll end up enamored with next, but if you have any suggestions, I'd love to hear them.

There will be blood

I paid $3.99 a gallon the other day....Four bucks a gallon, to drive on pitted and pot-holed roads. Everyone is ranting about the sky-high price of gas, especially those enormous SUV drivers(THe SUV's, not the drivers...are enormous...oh nevermind).
Anyway, it reminds me of when I was kid traveling the western U.S. with my dad in his motorhome....It was just after the Iranian Hostage crises and we were flabbergasted at the idea of .80 a gallon gas....Where would it end we thought!

A better question is "Why?" Why in the name of Buddah are we paying more than twice what we paid less than five years ago while Exxon is posting record-breaking profits?
I always hear the same sob stories from the Oil companies, they usually go like this:
"There hasn't been a new refinery built in the U.S. in 30 years...California has stringent environmental laws requiring us to reformulate gas...The Summer Driving Season(!)...Refineries are being repaired...Hurricane Katrina/Rita...If only we could drill in the ANWR/Grand Canyon/Yosemite...blah,blah,blah..count the money,count the money.."

I found a couple of intersting articles via Digg...you be the judge:

Articel 1

Article2

Good luck...I'm buying a Tesla

PS As luck would have it, NOVA had on a special last night entitled Car of the future. Provided a good overview on the challenges we face...and best of all, it was hosted by Tom and Ray Magliozzi,the Car Talk guys!

Bang! Bang! Bang!

I just watched Shoot 'Em Up last night and had to say something about it. (Trailer here)
First, I don't think I would have been thrilled to spend nine bucks at a theater to see it...that's why there's Netflix.
Second, if you like shootouts, I mean really like shootouts, then this is the movie for you. In fact, the whole movie is just one continuous shootout. The hero finds himself in ever more ridiculous situations where he is required to shoot his way out. I won't sopil any of the scenes for you, but trust me, this guy shoots his way out of every position imaginable.

This is no Oscar winner...hell, it's not even a contender, with the ultra violence, gratuitous nudity, gallons of blood and inane one liners..but there's something about the over-the-top ridiculousness of it all that is appealing. The plot(plot?) is pretty lame, the little idosyncrasies of the protagonist are borderline annoyoing, yet I watched it to the end.
Why?
Normally I hate to suspend this much disbelief...really. I could not stand Independence Day...God! Jeff Goldblum hacking the Mothership with a Mac...Kill me now! Somehow with Shoot 'Em Up, you manage to let it slide that the guy just fired 23 shots from a pistol that would hold 14...Or that he actually HIT someone while sliding on his back through a bunch of motor oil. I guess it's like a Kung Movie, don't let the plot or need for good dialog/acting spoil the action. Or as one commenter on IMDB put it: Gun Porn At It's Best.

Flighty

Ah, here's another good time-waster...It was sent in one of those emails that's been forwarded a million times, so I naturally was going to ignore it. Since it had to do with Geography, I had to open. (Thanks Mom).

You might think it's a pretty lame web-game...some sleazy corporate attempt to get you hooked into buying their product or service. Allow me to present you the truly, Worst Web Game Ever*


*According to Digg voters.

Imitation is the Sincerest Form of Flattery

So I found this site while checking out makeuseof.com today. It claims to track down those annoying copycats out there who are stealing all of your blog contetnt.

Now for me, it's not such a big deal, you know, because if I ever came up with some original content, the world just might end. For example, I did a search on my URL and found John MCManamon's site that had the same, *gasp*, joke as mine! Eh, well, he posted his 473 days ago...and he referenced William Wallace, not Bonnie Prince Charlie. So he might want to have a word with me.

On the other hand, this would be useful for guys like The Photoshop Disasters dude I wrote about below, who obvioulsy has someone leeching his stuff. Looks like now he's aware of it and is watermarking all his work.

So, how do you measure up? Check and see how much of your Intellectual Property is being mined for god knows what reason.

Plastic Surgery Photoshop Disasters

OK..UPDATE:
This guy's blog appears to be the original ...the one below I guess is glomming off of it...not sure.

UPDATE: I am removing the original. DIGG'd link and keeping the Photoshopdisasters page above.

It's great to see someone calling an "Emperor has no clothes" (or "The Emperor's butt was badly photoshopped")on all the retouched and refinished images we are subjected to every day.
Honestly, I wonder how many celebrities I've passed on the street, totally unaware of their presence, because they look like every other schlub walking around.

I'm not sure which fakes I like better: The obvious 'airbrushing' of stars to make then look flawless or the bonehead mistakes of the artists who apparently need to take an anatomy class

Happy St. Pat's

Amused to Death

OK, what a week.....And yes, I'm an awful person for not updating in weeks. WEEKS!

What are you gonna do?

Las Vegas. A week in this town can be rough, especially on someone who has never been. Yes, it's true...I'm a Vegas virgin.

The thing is, it's the money and what it buys you...A whole city built on entertainment...whatever makes you happy.

Want to gamble? Knock yourself out? Drink anywhere and everywhere? Sure. Get a prostitute sent to your room in less than 20 minutes? You got it pal. Well, I did one of those, but I wasn't that much happier. You can probably guess which.
Among other things, it got me to Thinking...capital "T" thinking, about what happiness is, and since Vegas ain't a place you're going to find the Dalai Lama, I did the next best thing and went online.(OK, I was working a conference there and had some downtime too...)

I managed to run across a guy who was selling his Isolation Tank. Yeah, so it's Joe Rogan...but the idea is that this guy, and plenty of others, used this device in an attempt to attain a higher level of happiness. I know it would have been a better article had it been written by Timothy Leary, but Joe does make a few good points about clearing your mind to find inner peace and happiness. And no, I didn't bother with the video...let me know if it sucked.

On the other hand, I found a guy writing about a trip he took on his Ural motorcycle. Not just any trip, but a trip from Halifax to Seattle...on a Ural. Those of you who are unfamiliar with Urals just think of them as a motorcycle version of an East German Trabant...but not as smoky and prone to failure. OK, they do fail...just read Lutz' story.But still, not as smoky.

I read Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance a zillion years ago and at the time i really missed the point. I don't know, I always liked motorcycles and maybe I was thinking there'd be some cool racing or something going on in the book. Lutz' story took me back to that book, it brought the point home. I mean, this guy was daring and brave(and a little nuts) to take this trip, but it's so beautiful. He couldn't have been happier, even though at some point he was riding with only ONE cylinder firing...it didn't matter. This kind of odyssey...is it Quixotic?....Who knows...What I do know is, after reading it I wanted to do it. I wanted to pile my stuff in a Ural and see where the road took me;to greet the occasional mechanical failure as an opportunity to learn, to meet new people, to take in stride the crap life throws you on your journey. I mean, admit it folks, some of our lives are more Ural-like than BMW-like if you know what I mean, and rather than fight it, you should accept the fact that your spark plug wires sometimes get fried and you have to figure out a work-around. It just sounded like such a great trip and when you think about it, a motorcycle is a kind of Isolation Tank.

I think of the two paths to happiness I read about, Lutz' struck me as the more enjoyable. I'd much rather take my chances on the road than float in a salt bath in pitch darkness...I don't know, call me crazy.

As for Vegas, meh, it's not for me. Maybe if I were younger and/or single-er, I'd have enjoyed it, but as it was, I chose to dream of rattling down a backroad on a Cossack bike, hoping the axle wouldn't fail before I got to the next town.

Here's the Ural "accessories" page. Notice the repair manual is the first item listed. I'm just saying.

Here are more stories of people and their Urals

Writer's Bloc

So this bitter strike by the WGA may at this very moment be over. Whew! What a relief...I mean, how long can we be expected to go without? Without...without what?
It's not like a garbage strike in the middle of summer....or a transit strike that leaves you stranded at a bus stop or train station...What are we actually giving up because of this strike? We're giving up crappy TV.

Now I know these people have a job to do and we should respect Labor. Believe me, I do: I won't cross a picket line. But how do you NOT cross a picket line here? Most people have not turned off their TV's, they're simply fed slightly crappier fare than usual...All these half-baked shows that I guess the networks keep in reserve in just such a situation. Scab TV! OK, so what is it? It's "Reality TV"...we've had that for a while, but this stuff is the junk that would never normally see the light of day. Not like, you know, "CSI"...or "Two and a Half Men"..or, gack, "According to Jim". There..the emperor has no damn clothes.
Come on...There's probably somone on that picket who is responsible for "Moesha"!
Yeah, there are your random "Lost" or "Simpsons" writers, but let's face it, most of these guys are looking for yet another specialty version of "Law and Order" or "CSI".

I hope they get what they need to make a living, but is too much to ask to get some good product?

Stand in the place where you live

Just saw this Improv Everywhere mission today and thought it was just incredible. I've seen another of this type of thing in a Best Buy or Circuit City (think it was aFlash Mob event), and though it was amusing , it somehow wasn't as powerful as this one.
I think it's the sheer size...bigger is better! And the sheer number of participants. The reactions are classic and the Agents' ability to remain stock still is awesome. To pull this off in New York is no mean feat...although you could argue there is a large percentage of non -New Yorkers in this case. But the main thing that struck me was how much fun this must be. The good news is, they're not just in New York...They're global.

Another great Mission was the Abercrombie & Fitch shirtless-in. "What? But you hired a shirtless guy to stand in your store...why can't I shop shirtless?". Um....two words: Man boobs.

More missions here

Apple Air

Steve Jobs called...Here's the new Laptop Bag for your Apple Air





After all, after spending $3200 for a laptop, you'll have nothing left to buy a real bag...

*UPDATE: OK, I didn't know they wre actually using these things in their commercials...Come on, this is a joke! Honestly, I can't wait to see someone bring their busted up Air into the "Genius Bar" and ask for a warranty repair because the laptop case/envelope didn't keep the LCD from cracking.

A Scotsman(boy) has enough

Got this from my friend Freakshow...He's not Scottish, but can appreciate a good joke when he sees one.


Teacher: "Good morning children, each Thursday we're
going to have a general knowledge quiz. The pupil who
gets the answer right can have Friday and Monday off
and not come back to school until Tuesday." Wee Jock
thinks, "Ya bassa. Ah'm
pure brilliant at ma general knowledge stuff. This is
gonnae be a dawdle, come ahead ya radge, a lang
weekend fir me.'

Teacher: "Right class , who can tell me who said
'Don't ask what your country can do for you, but what
you can do for your country?' Wee Jock shoots up his
hand, waving furiously in the air. Teacher looking
round picks Jeremy at the front. Teacher: Yes,
Jeremy." Jeremy (in a very English accent): "Yes miss,
the answer is J F Kennedy - inauguration speech 1960."
Teacher: "Very good Jeremy. You may stay off Friday
and Monday and we will see you back in class on
Tuesday."

The next Thursday comes around, and Wee Jock is even
more determined. Teacher: "Who said. 'We will fight
them on the beaches, we will fight them in the air, we
will fight them at sea. But we will never surrender?'"
Wee Jock's hand shoots up, arm stiff as a board,
shouting "I know. I know. Me Miss, me Miss." Teacher
looking round and picks Timothy, sitting at the front:
"Yes Timothy."

Timothy (In a very, very posh, English accent): "Yes
miss, the answer is Winston Churchill, 1941 Battle of
Britain speech."
Teacher: " Very good Timothy, you may stay off Friday
and Monday and come back to class on Tuesday." The
following Thursday comes around and Wee Jock is hyper,
he's been studying encyclopedias all week and he's
ready for anything that comes.

He's coiled in his wee chair, slavers dripping in
anticipation. Teacher: "Who said 'One small step for
man, one giant leap for mankind'?" Wee Jock's arm
shoots straight in the air, he's standing on his seat,
jumping up and down screaming "Miss, me miss, meeeeee!
" Teacher looking round the class picks Rupert,
sitting at the front: "Yes Rupert." Rupert (In a
frightfully, frightfully, ever so plummy English
accent: "Yes miss, that was Neil Armstrong. 1969, The
first moon landing." Teacher: Very good Rupert. You
may stay off Friday and Monday and come back into
class on Tuesday."


Wee Jock loses the plot altogether, tips his desk and
throws his wee chair at the wall. He starts screaming:
"Where the f**K did all these English b*st*rds come
from?" Teacher looking round the class: "Who the hell
said that?" Wee Jock, grabs his coat and bag and heads
for the door, "Bonnie Prince Charlie, Culloden, 1746.
See you on Tuesday."

Who was Bonnie Prince Charlie?

North vs. South

It's that most wonderful time of year again folks..yes, the time of year I have to keep explaining to my kids that Penguins live in the South Pole, not the North Pole and as such, cannot cavort with Polar bears! It doesn't help that a major soft drink company perpetuates this myth with their Holiday Commercial.
You can buy any number of Penguin themed decorations for your yard:
This, This(Gah! Are there igloos in the South Pole?? No!) or This!.
Setting aside the undeniable tackiness of these things and the argument that Chirstamas is becoming too secular, I would be happy if there was at least a little accuracy when it come to habitat! Sure, maybe Snowmen live in the South pole with Penguins, fine...But not polar bears or Eskimos damnit.

That being said, have a Holly Jolly Christmas.
/Scrooge-like rant.

Spock, you green-blooded son of a....

I'm not a huge Trekkie(Yes, they're Trekkies, Trekkers are people who actually get outside and do things, like hike!), but I found these Inspirational Posters just awesome. But not, you know, inspirational.

I am at a loss though to explain This One.
Anybody?

What will happen when the gas runs out?

Years ago, before we were really talking about oil dependency and shrinking reserves(well, after we talked about it in the '70's), I remember reading about how one day oil reserves would dry up and we'd be left with no more petroleum. At the time I rode a motorcycle as my primary mode of transportation and the first thought I had was: "Good God! Will there be no more motorcycles?"

Well, it looks like others had he same fear, and much like the awesome Tesla that people are lining up to pay big bucks for, there appears to be a fair number of "alternative" motorcycles out there.

This Drag Bike is amazing, however a bit impractical around town.

Then there's the Enertia...Looks pretty dorky...and that price! But, hey, it's a step in the right direction.

Lastly there's the Fuel Cell motorcycle which sounds reeeealy cool until you see the top speed is 50 MPH. Damn!

Anyway...Which candidate out there running for President is committed to ensuring there will be fast, cool looking motorcycles when the gas runs out? 'Cause they got MY vote!